The Best Deceptions
by Esparzak
Summary: Faye Valentine is currently leading a happy life with her fiance, Vicious. But when she finds a dying man named Spike and takes him home to mend his wounds, her fate takes a sudden spiral out-of-control. (SF- don't like 'em, don't read, lol)
1. Pain is Weakness Leaving The Body

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
[ A/N- All righty. This is my second attempt of a successful Cowboy Bebop fanfiction. The first one was okay... but there are alot of things I'm unhappy about, so I'm trying again, hoping to bring in more reviews. So remember, if you like the story, please review. Even if all it says is ' that was good' or ' update soon'. To me, even the smallest appraisal is greatly appreciated and presses me to write an even more intriguing story. So enjoy. And if not, oh well, I tried, lol.]  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
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Chapter 1: Pain Is Weakness Leaving The Body  
  
My name is Faye Valentine. I lead a normal everday life, with normal everday situatons. I wake up every morning, the same as the day before, force that fatigued smile, and press on hoping for the best. Sure, I usually have my ups and downs, but somehow I manage to weasle my way out of things. But everyone has that life, right? There no such thing as a fairy tale life with forever love and happy endings. And on the other side of things, there no such thing as a living nightmare, for there is always some type of hope reaching out to you.  
  
Yes...  
  
That was what I used to think. That was what I would wake up to every morning, repeating in my lethargic mind, and that was what I would fall asleep to at night, still continuing to beat at the frayed edges of my mind. But that's what I had always thought. There was nothing in the world to veer me differently. I was truly so naive that my mind was completely set, never wandering any further than its current resting place.  
  
Boy, was I wrong....  
  
~*~  
  
That constant beeping rang through my ears, tormenting, screaming... I wrinkled my nose at the invasion, groaning in true disgust. I sat there motionless for a while, hoping it would all disappear, leaving me to the blissful silence. But it didn't. It continued, growing louder, and louder... and LOUDER. I clenched my fists tightly against my pillow, tossing it in the direction of the mocking invader, letting out a loud hiss of annoyance. But it still continued, the impudent beeping morphing into pulsing redicule. I gritted my teeth grieviously, reaching over and grasping the offender by the neck, or so it seemed to my half-awake form. I clenched tighter and tighter, abruptly chucking the damned thing against the wall. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as the beeping faded, followed by a few distant crackles of electricity. I opened my eyes slowly, excited to finally see my defeat against the bastard who had interrupted me and my precious time of rest. My eyes were blurred at first, but after furious rubbing, my vision finally cleared, revealing a ravaged alarm clock lying on the floor beside my bed, cursed with death. I rolled my eyes blatantly. Damn it. That was the thrid time I had done that in the past week. It was like alarm clocks should be cowering in fear when I came near them. Well, why sould I have been guilty anyways, everyone hates it when their sleep is interrupted. I just seemed to handle things a little... differently.  
  
Realizing I had no invision of any time at all, I wearily slipped my hand inside the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out a sterling-silver watch. I squinted my eyes at the unfamiliar form of standard watches. My eyes were so used to the simple form of digital clocks, that I had almost forgotten how to read time all together, but my memeory quickly slipped back just in time.  
  
Seven forty-five!?  
  
I gasped sharply, quickly rolling out of bed, my tense body smacking the hard wood floor with a thud. I gritted my teeth at the pain inflicted on my innocent tail bone, but quickly forced it away, searching the floor for a clean set of clothing. Hell, I had to be to work in exactly fifteen minutes, I didn't have time for any type of pain...  
  
I shakily stood up, wiggling my clothing on as best as I could. Somehow I managed to get my head through my right sleeve, and my right arm left tugging at any type of opening it could find. Why was this happening now? Why couldn't I just dress myself like any other normal person in the world? But no... life had to make things challenging....  
  
After numerous amounts of struggling, I finally stood before my full body mirror, suprisingly dressed properly, with no tags sticking out anywhere. Wow. I deserve a certificate of achievement for that defeat...  
  
I frowned at the appereance that stood before me, quickly scurrying to the bathroom and running a comb through my matted violet hair. I glanced at the mirror... again.. But quickly scurried to the bathroom... again... I pulled out a crimson lip gloss and glid it across my pale lips in attempt to complete my vixen look I always achieved somehow. Glancing at the mirror one last time, I finally smiled, forcing acceptance to the form that stood before me. Hey, I had to at least think that I liked the way I looked...  
  
I glanced at my silver watch again...  
  
Seven fifty-five? All that hustling to put clothes on my body and brush my scraggly hair took ten minutes? God, I was horrible... but hey, it was just a like any other normal day for me...  
  
I scampered out of my apartment as quickly as I could, grabbing a piece of toast along the way. I hastily shoved the toasted bread and jelly into my mouth, stumbling down Fifth avenue as fast as my scrawny legs would carry me. Despite the rush I was in, I still managed to notice the beauty the new day was bringing. I smirked lightly at the fresh scent of city smog and soft dew on the rustled grass. Yes, wierd combination, but it still managed to keep me happy, right? I glanced up at the sky, losing myself in the soft pick hues the sun was bringing with its new arrival. God, everything seemed so utterly beautiful to me, and my whole body stood frozen with bliss. I knew I'd be late by now, but I didn't care, because that was what happiness was truly about. Happiness was finding grace in everything, including the sky above you and the city surroundings enshrining your tiny form.  
  
I shook my head lightly, trailing away from my thoughts. Even so, I had to be to work, because that was what paid my bills, and that was what kept me living. I swiftly turned a corner down Hamilton Street, picking up the pace as I pushed my way through the early morning crowds. I just had to take a shortcut of some type to make it to the diner in at least decent time, or else Rain would litterally chew me out for sure. I scanned the surroundings, narrowing my eyes at any form of hope I had. My eyes briefly caught a narrow alley leading to the back of the small grocery store. Luckily, this grocery store was only a few blocks away from the diner, which would inevitably cut my time in half. I smirked happily at my defeat, ignoring any form of warning my mind was pulsating through my veins, and pressed on towards the slim alley, pushing anyone out of the way who even dared interrupt me. I dashed down the alley as fast as I could, startling a few scurrying stray cats who stood before me. Not even nocticing where I was heading, I felt my foot catch on a foriegn object, and my whole body tumbled to the ground with a painful thud. I gritted my teeth tightly, ready to inflict pain on whatever had rudely interrupted me, but when my eyes were fixed upon the infliction, all my features softened, tears practically swelling my eyes.  
  
It was a young man. And he was injured.. badly. Blood stained all his surroundings, and his body was sprawled out uncomfortably. His choclate eyes were fixed on the sky above him, and a cigarette hung loosely form his thin, pale lips. It almost seemd like he was dead and alive... all at the same time...  
  
" Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! Are you okay mister?" I kneeled before him, scanning his body for his painful injuries.  
  
His mysterious chocolate eyes slowly traced over towards me, a smug frown forced upon his parted lips, " Leave... I need my time to die alone..."  
  
I eyed him confusingly. " What?" I had heard what he said, but it almost seemed unreal the way his voice seemed so cool and calm.  
  
He shut his eyes loosely, remaining silent as his breath slowly departed him. My eyes widened in fear. " No! Wake up! You can't die now!" I shoved his body lightly, my voice brassy and lurid.  
  
And to this day, I'm not really sure why I felt my whole heart shatter when I gazed upon him. Hell, I didn't even know who he was, but my heart still wrenched, pressing me to keep him alive.  
  
He slowly opened his mismatched eyes, fixing them upon the sky above him. " Why? I have nothing to live for... No home. No money.... no life..." His words were so lifeless and blank, like they had no meaning to him at all. I pressed my eyes into a sympathetic frown, leaning closer towards him.  
  
I had to get him to a hospital. But... he said he had no money, I couldn't possibly force a hospital bill upon him. I scanned his body, studying his wounds closely. They seemed like average bullet holes, I could easily fix them myself, right?  
  
Before I even gave my mind to think about the situation, I felt my arm wrapping around his lanky body, helping the poor man to his feet. He groaned at the pain, and his whole body tensed up. I felt so terrible for the pain I was inflicting upon him, but I had to get him home to fix his wounds.  
  
" Just hold on, I only live a few blocks away." I tightened my grasp around him, letting his bloodied body rest against mine. He shut his eyes loosely, resting his head on my shoulder. He was definitely way too heavy for me, but I didn't care. I had to get him some help, and fast.  
  
" W-why... why are you helping me?" His voice was weary and gentle, and his warm breath pressed against the open skin on my shoulder, sending chills down my spine. I shivered lightly, and felt my face flush into a crimson shade. Wait a second... I'm blushing? What the hell for, I have Vicious to keep me happy....  
  
" Don't speak... We're almost there..."  
  
I forcefully pushed my thoughts away, stumbling down the busied street as hasty as I could. A few curious people glanced at us in shock, whispering obsenities to each other. I shot them all one long cold glare, and continued to trudge down the city streets. I didn't have time for snobs like that, I had an intensely injured man hanging on for dear life here.  
  
My body was getting wearier and wearier by the second, and I could barely hold the man anymore. But I was determined, I wasn't gonna let someone die so easily like that. I tightened my grip around him, dragging him along as fast and as gentle as I could. And let me tell you... its not as easy as it sounds, especially when they're full of bullet holes and other unknown injuries...  
  
My apartment complex finally came in my sights and I practically jumped for joy, a sigh of relief escaping my lungs. I quickened my pace, his injured body practically flapping in the wind. He let out a few whimpers of pain, causing me to slow down a little. But I had to get him some help, can you blame me for wanting to run as fast as I could? I pressed my way through the glass apartment doors, stumbling up the steps as fast as I could, tightening my grip around the collar of his shirt. I fumbled through my pockets, pulling out the key and swiftly thrusting it into the keyhole. I quickly pushed the door open and pulled his injured body towards the couch.  
  
He groaned at the pain as I settled his body onto the couch, positioning it as best as I could. I hastily stumbled into my bedroom and pulled the emergency first aid kit out from underneath my bed, staggering towards the couch his bloodied body laid upon.  
  
" Hold on, okay? This'll only take a minute..." I attempted to calm him down, but he was already asleep, his lungs raising and collapsing in long, painful breaths.  
  
I unbuttoned his banana-yellow shirt and carefully peeled it off of his body, revealing a long sword slash along his left side. I winced at the gory mess his torso had become. Who could've possibly done this? It was so sick and twisted the way the world had become...  
  
I hastily thrusted the first aid kit open, and pulled out a bottle of peroxide to cleanse his wounds. Reaching for a few cotton swabs, I gently poured the burning liquid onto his wounds, wiping up the excess as I went along. I could feel his whole body tense up as I pressed a warm rag against his wounds to wipe up the blood around his wounds. I quickly bandaged his torso, and moved on to the next wounds. I think that was becoming record time for me. Well, I guess I haven't bandaged up very many people in my life, besides my fiance, who used to be a bounty hunter, but I was still moving along suprisingly fast.  
  
I wiped the rest of the blood off his body and moved along as fast as could, examining his wounds as closely my eyes would focus.  
  
I felt his body flinch slightly as he whimpered in his sleep." Julia..." His words were barely a whisper, but they caused me to freeze right then and there. Julia? Who is this woman? Is she the one who caused him all this pain? I numbly ignored my thoughts and stubbornly continued, wiping his wounds with peroxide. Luckily he didn't have any bullets in him, they must've of all gone completely through. Which in fact, is actually worse, but I really didn't feel like removing any bullets...  
  
I bandaged the rest of his body, letting out a slight sigh of relief. He was finally all bandaged up, and it made me feel so much more happier to see him resting at least half-way peacefully in his sleep. I was so glad that I had saved his life. If I wouldn't have brought him home, he would've died miserably in a cold, dark alley with nobody around. It was such a good idea to take that shortcut to work....  
  
Wait a minute....  
  
Work?! Oh, shit. It was way past time to be to work, and I would for sure get chewed out. Oh, well, I'd just tell them that I had found a dying man on my way to work and brought him home to bandage him. They wouldn't believe me for one second, but hell, it was the truth anyways...  
  
And for the first time this week, I was actually happy that Vicious had taken that three-week business trip. I still missed him like hell, but at least I could help this injured man without getting my head bit off. But Vicious was like that, just like his name says, vicious... Yeah, that was a corny crack, but it's true. Vicious seemed like such a cold-hearted person on the outside, but on the inside, his heart was soft and giving, which is actually one of the only reasons why I said that I would marry him. Now, I'm not saying I didn't love him or anything, but if he truly was as cold inside as out, I would be out the door faster than you could imagine. Sure he was handsome and all, but I'm not the type to put up with anyone's shit... no matter what...  
  
I noticed him stir in his sleep, and my thoughts quickly stumbled back to reality, focusing on him. I leaned in intently, awaiting any type of awakening. I didn't even know why I wanted him awake. I just knew I wanted to ask what the hell had happened, and most of all, how he was feeling...  
  
His chocolate eyes slowly fluttered open, and my heart jumped for joy. A anxious smile pressed against my lips as his mismatched eyes slowly traced over, fixing themsleves upon me.  
  
" Are you okay?" I shot him a concerned look and kneeled down next to him, inching closer and closer to his bandaged body.  
  
A confused and frightened look tugged against his features. " Are you an angel?"  
  
I chuckled lightly at his remark." No," I paused, smiling widely. " My name is Faye. I saved your life back there."  
  
His face straightened and he shot me a cold glare. Was it something I said? " W-why? What even compelled you to do something so selfish?!"  
  
" Huh?!" I was confused. No... I take that back. I was EXTREMELY confused. There I was, saving his life, and he was calling me selfish? I think I was seriously missing something there...  
  
" I wanted to die! But NO! You had to butt in!" His words were extremely icy, and they infuriated me deeply.  
  
" What the hell are you talking about?! You WANTED to die?! Okay, that makes alot of sense..." Yeah. I was being ignorant. I knew it, but he deserved it...  
  
" You know what? It makes perfect sense when you're in my situation. I have nothing to live for now! She's dead!" Tears were swelling his eyes, causing me to feel extremely guilty. There I was, insulting him, when it was obvious that he was suffering pain in his heart. And that's one type of pain I couldn't possibly cure with peroxide or bandages...  
  
I remained silent. I had no idea how to answer that. I wasn't used to finding dying men in alleys and bringing them home to mend their wounds, so maybe what I did was wrong. Hell, if I knew...  
  
" M-my... my name is Spike..." His words softened and he shut his eyes loosely. " Spike Spiegal..."  
  
I smiled softly at him. At least he was trying, right? " Spike... I'm sorry, I had no idea. I had found you on my way to work... you looked absolutely miserable. I had to help you."  
  
He shook his head lightly. " It's not your fault. Those wounds wouldn't have killed me anyway... I'm not the type to die..." His last words had a twinge of sarcasm in them, and he smirked coyly at them.  
  
" Well Spike, they obviously caused you some type of pain. Am I right?" I was being a bit sarcastic as well, but hey, he started it.  
  
" Pain is weakness leaving the body." He smirked at slightly at me.  
  
" Well, then Miss Faye, uh...."  
  
" Valentine. Faye Valentine." I replied, finishing off the rest of his sentence.  
  
" Faye Valetine, it seems I owe you a thank you." He extended his hand out to me, smiling lightly.  
  
" But I thought you wanted to die..." I shook his hand lightly, fixing my eyes on the ground. His choclate eyes were way to powerful. I felt myself melting everytime I looked upon him.  
  
He didn't say anything. He remained silent... and so did I. It's not like I was trying to be rude or anything. But I just didn't know what to say. He was dying and I had just saved his life. What more is there to say? Despite the sarcasm that drenched his words, I could still tell he was feeling tremendous amounts of pain. I could tell he was trying hard to hide his pain, but his eyes... They were truly amazing. Now, I won't lie. He was very, very handsome. His unruly forest-green hair and chocolate eyes were absolutely astonishing. And his body? No comment...  
  
I didn't really know what to do next. Should I let him stay a while until his wounds heal? Or should I help him home right away? Whatever the situation... I knew that this man would be causing me alot of trouble....  
  
But maybe that was a good thing...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How was that? Did ya like it? I think this story is actually turning out pretty well. I like the way the story flows through Faye's point of view.  
  
And pwease, pwease don't forget to review! Thanx ^^ 


	2. This Living Nightmare

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
[ A/N- This chapter is shown through Spike's POV. But, don't worry, this is the only chapter where the POV will be switched. It will be back to Faye's POV the next chapter. I just wanted to show Spike's emotions of the meeting and what truly happened to him *eerie music plays* And POV means point of view, if you didn't already know that...]  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
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Chapter 2: This Living Nightmare  
  
I was scared. I admit it. Yeah, I'm not really the type to fear anything, but seeing her die... it changed me, but it was only for the worst. She was my everything. She was my love... She was my Julia, and he took her away from me. That insensitive bastard. I wanted to kill him so badly. I wanted to rip out his intestines and feed them to the birds, but he escaped my wrath, leaving only scars of pain. He knew I wasn't gonna die, and he knew that I really wanted to. He was always doing things opposite of what I wanted, or even needed. I needed to die. But I didn't. She had to come along and change everything. Her piercing emerald eyes and luscious violet hair left me breathless. She looked like an angel from heaven... but she wasn't... She was a demon from hell, sent here to make me continue living this nightmare....  
  
~*~  
  
It was raining that day. Tears from heaven... that's what I'd call it. I watched the rain drops intently as they beat against the window of her apartment. But the steady rainfall was almost calming to me. They seemed to wash away all the pain somehow. I slowly shut my eyes and took in all my sorrows, letting them out with one sharp sigh.  
  
I missed her so. It was almost like I wasn't living at all. Like I was stuck in some kinda of tormenting purgatory, one that I'd never escape. But then there was that twinge of hope that wrenched at my heart. Hope? Yeah, like I should really be feeling anything remotely hopeful. But it was still there. There was no ignoring it. I wanted to know what it was, so I could scream and scold at it for leading me on and making me actually think there was a reason for living. I knew there wasn't a reason for living, so why did this feeling mock me? Julia was dead, damn it! There was no reason for living....  
  
I could hear her humming softly in the other room. Despite the contrary, it was truly beautiful and calming. She was being so giving to me... but why? Its not like she even knew who I was or anything. We merely knew each others names, yet she still stood beside me. And actually, I hated her for it. Because she had started building up this crazy idea in my head that there really was a reason for living, and that I wasn't supposed to die yet. It was like that feeling inside of me, but cloned as a human being. Yeah. Crazy. I know. But that's what happens when you gaze upon her mesmerizing emerald eyes...  
  
" Hey, Spike! You hungry?" I heard her calling me from the other room, but I ignored it, fixing my eyes on the steady rainfall.  
  
Ignoring her didn't do much, because she still irritadely stomped in from the other room and placed her hands on her thin hips, a angry look plastered on her soft face.  
  
" You can stop ignoring me, you know? I'm just trying to help..." She paused, smiling widely. " Now, do you want chicken noodle or vegetable soup?" She held the cans out towards me to see, but I only glanced at them for a second before returning my gaze to the rainfall.  
  
" Okay then... I'll pick..." She rolled her eyes at me slightly, before quickly making her way towards the kitchen.  
  
I didn't care if I was pissing her off or not. She didn't let me die, so she was gonna suffer the consequences. And besides, it seemed anything pissed her off. She had quite the attitude. But that was one of the things that kept me from hating her. Her attitude was something I had never seen before, and it practically drew me to her. Okay... maybe I'm going too far... If anything drew me to her, it was her hot body...  
  
I quickly shook my thoughts out of my head. I wasn't gonna start thinking of her that way, she was the one who kept me living in this nightmare. I was going to get my revenge on her someday. But not now. I wasn't up for it...  
  
I finally broke my gaze from the steady rainfall, letting my eyes wander around her apartment. It was a very homely place to live, and everything was straightened neatly. Considering the pink and white decor, it was obviously a girl's apartment. My eyes continued to wander her apartment, studying every picture frame placed on the wall. There were a few pictures of her when she was younger. A couple pictures of her family. And another picture of....  
  
VICIOUS!!  
  
Oh, my fucking god! She has a picture of that slithering bastard hanging in her apartment. Okay, I was seriously getting pissed by now. First, she saves me form dying, then, I figure out she knows Vicious. He must have sent her to keep me alive...  
  
" All right Spike, I hope you like chicken noodle because thats what I picked," I shot her an icy glare as she walked towards me, holding a tray of steaming hot soup. She probably poisoned it....  
  
She gave me confused look. " I take it you don't like chicken noodle with that look..." She pulled up a chair next to the couch and sat down next to me, still holding the tray taughtly.  
  
I wasn't gonna beat around the bush. I wanted to know. " How do you know Vicious?" Yeah, so maybe my words were a little too malignant. But who could blame me? Vicious is the holder of this nightmare I'm currently living.  
  
She smiles widely. " Oh? You know Vicious? We're getting married in December." She holds the ring out for me to see. I must admit. It was an absolutely beautiful pink diamond, cut in the shape of a heart...  
  
But wait a second.... Vicious is getting married? What about Julia....  
  
" December?" I pressed on. Why? Don't ask me...  
  
" Yeah, not exactly the month I'd choose, but that's what he said he wanted." Figures. One of the coldest months of the year...  
  
" But I compromised, because I get to choose everything else in the wedding." She smiled lightly, stirring the soup slowly.  
  
I remained silent. What was I supposed to say anyways. She was actually marrying the bastard, and I wanted to tell her to stay away. But I knew I couldn't. She'd have to figure it out on her own...  
  
" He's away on a business trip. He'll be back in a few weeks." She lifts the spoon full of soup and blows on it gently. " Here, eat up." She extended the spoon out to me, as if she were feeding a child. I gave her a dangerous look...  
  
" I can feed myself you know..."  
  
She rolled her eyes at me, setting the spoon back in the bowl. " Well, I'm soorry... Excuse me for trying to help." She handed me the bowl roughly, practically spilling the steaming soup all over my already injured body. I gave her another dangerous glare. She simply rolled her eyes again and stomped away into the kitchen, muttering something about me being an asshole.  
  
I gazed at the steaming bowl of soup before me. It really did look good. And I WAS really, really hungry. Hell, might as well dig in. Who could pass up a free offer of food?  
  
" Are you just gonna stare at it all day?" Her voice startled me slightly and I jumped back, dropping the spoon in the bowl. She smiled at me and sat down in the chair by the couch, taking a bite of her sandwich.  
  
" How do you know Vicious anyways?" She gave me a confused look, as she continued to take small bites of her sandwich.  
  
I paused, searching for something to say. " Uh, he's... an old friend..." What? I wasn't gonna tell her that he was the reason I almost died...  
  
" Oh, really? Vicious usually isn't very prone to ' friends'. I'm glad to meet someone who can actually stomach him..." I chuckled at that remark, because one, it's true, and two, it's not true. I don't think I'd ever in my life be able to ' stomach' Vicious. He's a conniving bastard, always having some sick twisted thought in his head. And she was right. He's never had ' friends'. Just ' acquiantances'.  
  
I finally took a sip of my soup, and she smiled sweetly back at me, as if she was content with her defeat. But her face slowly pressed into a solemn frown, her eyes darting to the ground nervously.  
  
" Spike... what happened to you?" I choked slightly at her words. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell her of Vicious and Julia...  
  
" I-I... I'm a bounty hunter... and... yeah.." It was the best thing I could think of at the moment. Besides, it was partly true...  
  
" Really? I used to be a bounty hunter until Vicious proposed a few months ago. I figured I better settle down if I'm gonna get married, you know?" The way she said his name was so gentle and loving, causing my heart to shatter in a million pieces. She really didn't see it. She didn't see the devil Vicious really was. She was stuck in his web, and there was nothing she could do to get out... She would be devoured by his addiction to violence...  
  
I took another sip of my soup, fixing my eyes on her. She was so utterly beautiful. No wonder Vicious wanted her. Her emerald eyes were absolutely mesmerizing, and her violet hair nipped playfully at her smooth porcelin skin. I had a sudden urge to kiss her ruby lips...  
  
" Are... you gonna stay for a while Spike?" Her face was suddenly flushed, and her eyes wandered away from me.  
  
A suprised look tugged at my features. " Do you want me to?"  
  
" Well... y-yes, it's wierd without Vicious around, and I'd really like the company.."  
  
I froze, my mouth gaping open slightly. She wanted my company... She wanted me to stay... No one has ever wanted me around. Besides... Julia.  
  
" I-I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to... it's entirely up to you..."  
  
I smiled widely, shaking my head slightly. " Faye... It's not like I have anywhere to go anyways..." I was lying. I had Jet and the Bebop to go back to, but... I didn't want to leave her. I had this sudden need to stay with her. Yes... need..." And besides, I can't go anywhere with my wounds like this..." I lied again. I was never the type to let my wounds stop me, but... again... I wanted to stay with her.  
  
Her face brightened up, and she finally fixed her eyes on me. " Yeah, you're right..." She paused, standing up and giving me a soft hug, " Thank you Spike..." I could feel my cheeks glowing...  
  
She was thanking me? But why? She was the one who had saved me. I had done nothing but burden her from the first moment we met. But she was thanking me... This woman was truly getting me hooked....  
  
I felt her fingers roam across my bandages softly, and my face slowly burned into a deep, crimson shade. " Spike, I'd better change your bandages now." Before even giving me time to answer, she pulled out the first aid kit and a pair of scissors. She gently lifted the bandages and snipped them in half, her warm touch still continuing to linger on the open skin on my chest. She slowly pulled them off, but I didn't feel any pain. I was too caught up in my nervousness.  
  
Wait a second...  
  
Nervous? She was making me nervous? Sure she was attractive and all, but I couldn't possibly think of her that way, right? But her soft touch on my skin was just too much...  
  
" Am I hurting you? You seem kinda tense..." She stopped unwrapping my bandages and shot me a concerned look.  
  
" No, it's okay..."  
  
She shrugged slightly, and continued to slowly unwrap the bandages, tracing her finger along each wound. My whole body trembled at her soft touchs, and I felt as if she was healing all of my wounds. Why was she doing this? Wait a minute... I'm becoming delirious. She's simply replacing my bandages, it's nothing like that...  
  
" Well, you're healing up very well. There's no sign of infection at all." She pulled off the last of my bandages, revealing my naked torso. Luckily I didn't have any wounds below my stomach... then I'd really be tense...  
  
She blew softly on the long slash on my side, and I shivered as her warm breath traveled across my skin. " Does that hurt?"  
  
I gritted my teeth as my body trembled. " N-no... not all." Hell no, it didn't hurt. It felt damn good...  
  
" All right, hold still, this shouldn't take too long, but it will hurt." She held out a bottle of peroxide for me to see, raising an eyebrow. I nodded lightly, and shut my eyes tightly. Hell yeah, that was going to hurt...  
  
She slowly poured the burning liquid over my wounds, and I flinched at the pain, gritting my teeth grievously. But there again, I felt her warm breath traveling across my skin, and all my pain diminished into sensation. She was really good at doing that...  
  
She softly pressed a rag to my wounds, wiping up the excess as gently as she could. I glanced down at her with a look of plea in my eyes, and she smirked back at me, chuckling slighty. " Told ya it'd hurt..." I rolled my eyes at her. She was almost as sarcastic as me at times... almost...  
  
I felt her fingers roam across my skin again as she gently wrapped me in bandages. I bit my lip nervously, trying hard to force away the tingling sensation she was sending down my spine. My whole body was tense around her... but why? God, that damn woman confuses me...  
  
She finally finished wrapping me up, and I suddendly wished it wasn't over yet. I wanted that sensation she gave me with her touch...  
  
She turned to leave, but I grasped her by the arm, pulling her thin body towards me. " Thank you... for everything..." I'm thanking her? God, I really was delirious...  
  
She smiled at me slightly, and turned to leave again. " I knew you liked it..." She winked teasingly, and slowly made her way towards her bedroom.  
  
My whole body froze. She was right. I did like it.... And I wanted more of it...  
  
I glanced out the window. The sun was finally coming out. The tears had finally stopped falling....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There ya go. Another chapter. Hope you liked it. I kinda liked the way it was shown through Spike's POV. That way you can see his emotions before the story starts up totally. Like I said before, the rest of the chapters will be Faye's POV... SO you don't have to be confused anymore. Well, that is, if you are...  
  
And don't forget to review. Lots of reviews = better story, lol. I'm really bugging you with that aren't I? Sorry, lol. 


	3. Drinking Games

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
[ A/N: I see some of you noticed Faye's sorta OOC. Well, I was pretty sure some of you would notice, but I didn't say anything about it until now. Yes, I know. Faye's is very OOC. But think of the situation. She's getting married in a few months to a very seductive creature ( does Vicious count as human?) And think about that. When you find out you're getting married, you tend to be all cheery and excited about everything because, yeah, you're getting married. And also, who couldn't be excited around a sexy creature like Spike? Oh, crap, I think I went to far with that one...]  
  
* WARNING *- This chapter is teetering the line between PG-13 and R, and I actually think it crosses over towards R, just because the lyrics are very explicit and sexual. So if you don't like just a little bit of sexual comment, skip the lyrics, lol. BTW, these nasty lyrics are courtesy of 112. And also, the lyrics are supposed to represent the music in the background, if you didn't notice.*  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 3: Drinking Games  
  
It had only been five days since our interesting meeting, and all was seeming to go well. Everyday, I'd come home from work, make dinner, check up on Spike's wounds, and go to bed. It was like an entrancing cycle that I was already getting used to. Everyday, I would think of Vicious less and less, and think of Spike more and more, but it never phased me, I was already getting used to it by the second. Maybe its because I'm not a very deep thinking person, but I never really looked back on things after I realized they had happened. I just pressed on, not thinking one bit about my changes physically and emotionally. Now I'm not saying I was totally forgetting Vicious and falling head-over-heels for Spike, but there was definitely that difference in my feelings. But who could've guessed anyways? We had only known each other five days, and we acted as though we knew each other for years, teasing and taunting each other like bickering siblings. Usually we'd just watch T.V at night and tell stupid stories of our past years of bounty hunting, which in fact, is one of our main interests. But maybe it was our only main interest because that was the only thing he talked about. He never even dared tell anything else about his past, yet there I was, bearing practically my whole life to him. But I felt so comfortable around Spike, like it didn't have to matter what I told him. And it vexed me deeply...  
  
I never remembering feeling that way around Vicious...  
  
~*~  
  
I was bored. He was bored. We both knew it. But we still sat in the silence at the dinner table, letting our eyes wander upon anything at least half-way intriguing. I'm not really sure why we sat there in the silence, toying with our food like it was the only interesting thing on the planet, because it was indeed Friday night, which increased our list of things to do by a hundred. But technically, Spike and I had never really ' done' anything together besides watch T.V and bicker with each other, and I think we both didn't really want to press the issue. Besides, I had a fiance on a business trip. I wasn't supposed to be having fun with another man. That's kinda like cheating, right?  
  
I finally bravely approached the subject as best I could. I wasn't gonna sit here all day on a Friday night, fiance or not. " So.. Spike... your wounds are healing up pretty well..." That was the farthest I was gonna go. Maybe he'd at least get an idea of what I was heading towards...  
  
" Faye... what's your point?" He replied blatantly, running his fingers through his unruly green hair.  
  
" Oh come on Spike, you know you're bored. Don't lie to me.." So maybe he didn't have an idea of where I was heading...  
  
" Yeah... what's your point?" He gave me a sorta ' I just said that' look and rolled his eyes at me. He could get quite annoying sometimes...  
  
" Come on... Why don't we go to a bar? Ooo! Let's go to a club!" I got a little over-exicted at the idea, and began bouncing around anxiously in my chair, a coy smile pressed against my lips.  
  
He raised a brow at me. " Faye, I don't have any clothing to go somewhere like that. And besides, my wounds aren't fully healed yet..." He shook his head lightly, his eyes darting towards his half-eaten plate of food. I knew that wasn't the reason. He always used his injuries as an excuse, and I knew he was never the type to let something like that stop him. Hell, he was a bounty hunter. And a damn good one at that...  
  
" Oh, please Spike... We can go to the store and buy you something new.. Please... It's been so long since I've been clubbin'." I put on my best puppy-dog face, which usually always worked in other situations, it wouldn't fail me then. So I was acting a little out of whack, but who could blame me, there I was asking this very attractive man to go ' out' with me, I think I'd tend to act at least a little flirty....  
  
He rolled his eyes at me and sighed heavily. " All right... but don't get used to this..." I clasped my hands together happily, and quickly scurried over to Spike's side of the table, giving him a tight hug.  
  
" You're such an asshole Spike..." Okay, yeah, that didn't really make any sense at all, but I wasn't gonna begin getting all softy around him just because I thought he was attractive. And I REALLY thought he was attractive...  
  
" Wow, thanx shrew..." He rolled his eyes at me, and I couldn't help but let out a light giggle. We were always calling each other names and we barely knew each other. It was so funny.  
  
" And don't think I'll be hanging all over you the whole time." He pushed me away slightly, and slowly stood up, narrowing his mismatched orbs slightly.  
  
I rolled my eyes at him, and scoffed loud enough for him to hear." Like I'd want to be anywhere near a lunkhead like you..." So, we weren't exactly the normal type of 'friends', but that's okay, right?  
  
~*~  
  
~  
  
Let me tell you wanna I do  
  
Let me show you that I'm feelin' you  
  
Wanna sex, wanna ride with you  
  
Wanna taste, wanna put my lips all over you  
  
~  
  
Liquid. I think that's what the name of the club was. I don't really remember, but I don't think it really mattered at the time. We were the type of couple that when we enter, everyone's heads turn to stare in awe. I was wearing my sexy black dress that had a slit all the way up the side to my hip and a pair of satin black high-heeled shoes. He was wearing a sexy white shirt, that was casually unbuttoned at the top, revealing a bit of his nicely-toned chest. My choice, of course. Girls would absolutely woo him with any type of pick-up line their puny minds could think off, and all I could do was roll my eyes in return. It was true, he was attractive and all, but they acted as if he was some type of sex god sent to seduce them all. Stupid dumbass blondes...  
  
~  
  
Can't get enough of you  
  
Always taken of you  
  
So sweet, so very wet  
  
So good, girl you make me sweat  
  
~  
  
The room was filled with the scent of cigarette smoke and hard liquor. The music was pulsating and alluring in a sexy kinda of way, and everyone's body moved together on the dance floor. There were a few rooms designated for ' making-out', and another room designated for the distrubution of drugs. Okay... so maybe that wasn't the best place to go with Spike, but I was bored, and I hadn't done that in a while since I met Vicious, so why not? It's not like anything would've happened between us, he's such a stupid lunkhead that he wouldn't even notice my lust if it smacked him in the face. And besides, I didn't have any ' lust' towards him anyways...  
  
" Hey, Spike!" I glanced over at him, and of course, there he was seducing some blonde haired girl. He wasn't already drunk, was he?  
  
I rolled my eyes at him and grasped him by the collar of his shirt, just enough to catch his attention. " Do you want a drink? I'm heading to the bar." I let go of his shirt and glanced over at the blonde woman who was giving me a very very dirty look. Stupid bitch...  
  
He lifted a shot of whiskey for me to see. " I already got a drink, courtesy of this beautiful lady.." He winked sexily at the blonde next to him, and she giggled with sheer delight. Beautiful? She looked like you could've found her in a trash can...  
  
I shrugged my shoulders, and turned towards the bar, walking that sexy way I had taught myself to do along time ago in high school. Actually, I felt like I was in high school being back there again. That was the club me and my girlfriends would always go to on Friday night, and seduce the bouncer until he let us in. Then, we'd walk casually over to the bar, and seduce him also until he gave us free drinks without even carding us. In fact, that was the place where I had met Vicious... Ah, good times...  
  
~  
  
Peaches and cream  
  
I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend  
  
Gettin' freaky in my Bentley limousine  
  
It's even better when it's with ice cream  
  
Know what I mean  
  
~  
  
I smiled coyly at the bartender. " Just give me a cosmopolitan, extra lime..." I sat down at the nearest bar stool and scanned the room for the sexiest men I could find. Unfortunately, the best I could get was Spike, who was currently seducing another whore... I suddendly wished I hadn't gone here after all...  
  
" Here ya go little lady..." He handed me my shot, and winked slightly. I'm not really sure why he was calling me ' little'. I looked like I was older than him. I guess that was the best way he could seduce a lady in this place...  
  
I glanced around the room once more, thinking that out of some miracle, a few sexy men would come to my sights. Of course, they didn't, so I turned sulkily back to my drink and took a little sip, letting out a heavy sigh.  
  
" What's wrong with you?" I felt him press the cool glass from his shot against my cheek, and I flichned slightly.  
  
" Nothing." I replied blankly, taking a large gulp of my drink.  
  
He smirked sheepishly." You're jealous..." He motioned to the bartender, and glanced back over at me, chuckling slightly.  
  
Jealous?!  
  
I rolled my eyes at him and shuffled my body uncomfortably." You're so full of yourself. I'd NEVER be jealous of an ugly ho like that." Okay, so maybe I was a little jealous... But, hey, I'm a girl, I'm supposed to want all the attention when it comes to men...  
  
" Jealous..." He mocked me teasingly, downing his shot of whiskey.  
  
" Whatever.." I was tired of playing that ' jealous' game. It was getting a little old already.  
  
~  
  
I never thought I would be  
  
So addicted to you  
  
On top, underneath, on the side of you  
  
Better yet baby inside of you  
  
~  
  
I motioned the bartender for a shot of vodka, and turned back to Spike, smirking coyly. " You up for a challenge?" A grasped the shot and dangled it in front of his view to see.  
  
He eyed the small glass, raising an eyebrow. " What kinda challenge?" He took another shot of whiskey and downed it.  
  
I leaned in closer towards him sexily. " You ever play a drinking game?"  
  
He raised another brow at me. " Maybe..."  
  
" Well, let's do it then..." I motioned for the bartender once more, ordering a round of vodka shots for each of us. " Whoever finishes first... wins..."  
  
He leaned in closer, until he was only inches away, his manly scent tantalizing my senses. " What's the prize?"  
  
I paused, bitting my lip as if I was deep in thought." Hmm, I don't know... Guess we'll find out later..." Okay, yeah, I know what you're thinking. That was obviously gonna lead to something not so good. But I had my pride. I knew what I was doing...maybe...  
  
~  
  
Love the way you're just flowin' down  
  
And I can feel it all around  
  
In the front, in the back of you  
  
Ooh I love the taste of you  
  
Girl you know what I'm talking bout'  
  
~  
  
I counted from ten slowly, seductivly, lingering on each number painfully. I felt like such a teaser. Maybe it was the alcohol, I don't know... I raised my glass to my lips at the last second, and downed it quickly, giving myself a head start. He downed his glass shortly afterwards, letting out a loud sigh of annoyance. But I didn't care, I was on a roll, I was already on my third glass and the contents weren't even burning my insides yet. I guess vodka wasn't exactly the best shot to pick, but it made it the most challenging, and I like challenges... alot.  
  
He was slowly catching up to me, and we both only had four shots left. We both fixed our eyes on each other, never veering towards anything else as we downed each shot as quickly as we could. The vodka was slowly starting to burn my stomach and blur my images, but I pressed on, reaching for my second to last shot and downing it even more forcefully than before. So there it was, we were tied and both had one glass left, and it was calling out to me tauntingly. I smirked at him sheepishly, and grasped his glass and downing it along with mine.  
  
I gulped the last bit of burning vodka that lingered in my throat, tossing the glasses to the side. " I win..." I cheated, but I still won...  
  
" Hey..." His mind finally registered what I had just done." Tha' wuz my shot..." Yep, he was drunk... Well that's what happen when you play drinking games...  
  
I shrieked loudly with laughter, and leaned in towards him. " What's my prize Spikey-boy?"  
  
He eyed me confusingly." Spikey-boy, where the hell did'ya get tha' one?"  
  
I shrugged, grasping him by the arm and pulling him off the bar stool. " Who cares. Letz dance." I slapped a couple hundred woolongs on the bar, and dragged him out towards the dance floor, the pulsating music vibrating through my body.  
  
" Dance?" He asked as though he had never heard of it in his life.  
  
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. " Yeah lunkhead, eva' heard o' it?" Okay, so I was drunk too. I won't deny it. That's the only way I would ever be able to pull him closer anyways...  
  
" Maybe.." He wrapped his arms around my thin waist and pulled me even closer than before. Yeah, I'm still not technically cheating on Vicious, right? We're just dancing together...  
  
~  
  
Won't stop girl you know I can't get enough  
  
Wanna taste it in the mornin' when I'm waking up  
  
Like peach cobbler in my stomach when I eat it up  
  
Got your legs aroung my neck and I can't get up  
  
~  
  
Now let me tell you a bit of advice. When you're drunk, don't dance with someone unless you know you plan on going home with them, and you know what I mean... The moves I was pulling on Spike were things my mother would never ever approve of. I mean, they weren't much, I'd just grind my ass against his body or let my breasts fall in areas they really shouldn't be, but they were still hinting sex to him, which is a big mistake. Now, I'm not saying I was doing all the work, he'd often pull me closer against his crotch and let me linger there for a while, grinding heavily, or he'd let his hand roam along my thighs. But we still hadn't technically 'kissed' each other. So I was doing good at keeping myself from cheating on Vicious.... Or so I thought....  
  
I moved closer to Spike so that I my backside was resting against the front of his body, my breath huffing in short puffs. I was getting really tired, but I hadn't had that much fun in a long time, so I continued, letting my body sweat my weariness out. The music was beginning to change over to the next song, giving Spike and I a short intermission before we started up again. I let my tired body fall against his, my head pressing against his chest as I tried to regulate my breathing. Sweat poured from all over and I was sure I had sweated all my make-up with just that one dance, but like I said, I didn't care at the moment, I was having way to much fun.  
  
" Tha' was fun..." His warm breath pressed against my ear. Yeah, he was still drunk... but so was I...  
  
The music started up again, and I whirled around, a sheepish smile plastered on my drunken face. " You wanna do it again?" Before even giving him time to answer, I began to grind against his body, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer... and closer... okay, so, now we were dangerously close, our breaths travleing down each others skin invitingly. But I wasn't gonna kiss him. I wanted to, but I wasn't gonna give in... I already told you that before...  
  
~  
  
And when it comes to eatin' peaches  
  
Shorty we don't play  
  
So all ladies in the house if your peach the shit  
  
Put your hands in the air and represent your clique  
  
~  
  
I felt him inching closer and closer, his hands roaming around my body, but I quickly whirled around so that my back was facing him... I wasn't gonna kiss him... He giggled like any other drunk person, and grinded against my ass. So I had saved myself from a deeply inviting kiss... for now...  
  
I reached behind me and let my hands guide themselves under his shirt and across his bare chest, lingering on each scar temptingly. I swear I heard him whimper with delight...  
  
Wait a second...  
  
Maybe I was a little drunker than I thought, but I swear I felt his lips traveling across my neck with warm kisses. Okay so maybe I was VERY drunk, but I know I felt it, and I simply froze in return, letting him have his way with my neck. Its not like I wanted to let him have his way, but I was so shocked by the fact that I had crossed the line, that I had no idea what to do... And his tongue really did feel good against my fiery skin...  
  
He paused, letting his arms fall loosely around me. " Wha' sa' matta'?" His breath reaked of alcohol and I knew he was drunk. So he couldn't possibly help it when he's drunk, right?  
  
I pulled away slightly. " N-nothin'..."  
  
He turned me around so that I was facing him, and I turned my face away, my cheeks burning into a crimson shade. " Ya' don't wanna dance anymore, do ya'?" He put his hands in his pockets, yet he still had that sheepish smile plastered on his face.  
  
" Yeah, let's take a break..." I quickly turned away from him, practically running towards the bar. I hadn't kissed him. But he kissed me, and in a sex-driven way... I had gone to far...  
  
~  
  
Peaches and cream  
  
I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend  
  
Getting freaky in my Bentley limousine  
  
It's even better when it's with ice cream  
  
Know what I mean, Peaches and cream  
  
~  
  
I'm sorry Vicious...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Umm... maybe I really should've rated this chapter R....  
  
Oh, well, it's not like they were actually having sex, alcohol had just blurred their actions, and they were having a bit of fun... But those lyrics were a little explicit....  
  
Well, anyways, will Spike remember what he had done? Can Faye face him afterwards...  
  
You'll have to review to find out XD... Okay, I didn't really mean that one.... 


	4. The Strange Way to Wash Dishes

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 4: The Strange Way to Wash Dishes  
  
Have you ever regretted something and longed for it at the same time? Yeah, I sound pretty crazy right now, but if you were in my situation, you'd know what I mean. I mean it's not everyday your fiance goes off on a business trip, and while he's gone, you find yourself doing things you'd never imagine would happen. Okay, so what happened between Spike and I at the club a few days ago wasn't really much, but it still beats frivolously at the back of my mind, and everytime I look at him I'm reminded of the scandal. And what vexes me the most is that he acts as if nothing happened. Like we just went, had a few drinks, and came home, nevermind the lust- filled grinding we were sharing on the dance floor. Maybe he was just too drunk to remember... But what about me? I was just as drunk as him and I remember it vividly. And besides, you usually remember what happens when you're drunk, you were just to drunk at the moment to make the right decions.  
  
Hell, why am I fretting over this anyways?  
  
I should be happy he doesn't remeber, that way I don't have to be basking in guilt everytime I look at him....  
  
~*~  
  
It was monday night, and I was tired as hell from the long day waitressing at the diner. The only thing I wanted to do when I got home was take a long, relaxing bath, but I knew I'd come home to dirty dishes, unmade beds, and a very grouchy Spike, which I really wasn't in the mood for. Ever since Spike and I met, I felt as if we were already living together like a couple, always bickering over who was to do the dishes, or make the beds. Just stupid things like that made me wonder what the hell I was doing. I mean, the man was technically already healed, but I was still letting him live with me, free of charge. I never really thought about it at the time, I just went on with my everyday life, nevermind the fact that I was letting another man live with me while my fiance is away on a business trip. So, I wasn't really thinking about any of the consequences, but hell, I'm Faye Valentine, Pocker Alice, I never worry about anything besides how to cheat and weasle my way out of things.  
  
Which is exactly what I was doing....  
  
" Spike!" I called out to him as I set my coat down, my body practically throbbing with pain after a long day of work.  
  
There was no response, as usual, and I slowly trudged my body into the living room, where he would most likely be sprawled out on the couch, watching Big Shot or something. And of course, there he was, glancing back at me wearily.  
  
" Did you do the dishes like I asked?" I stomped over towards him, picking up empty potato chip bags and beer cans along the way. God, men are so lazy and useless...  
  
" I don't know what you're talking about..." His eyes returned to the T.V, shrugging his shoulders lightly.  
  
Sighing heavily, I grasped him by the collar of his undershirt, shoving him farther into the couch. " Why are you so freakin' useless sometimes?! You can't even do the dishes while I'm away WORKING?!" I shot him a cold glare, letting go the collar of his shirt and throwing my hands up angirly. I was getting tired of his shit... Attractive or not...  
  
" Whatever... stupid shrew.." He rolled his eyes at me, brushing imaginary dirt off of his undershirt where I had grabbed it.  
  
My eyes widened furiously. " STUPID SHREW?! I saved your life you dumbass! And now you can't even do the dishes in return?!"  
  
He shot up quickly, meeting his choclate orbs with my emerald ones." I NEVER asked you to save me!" He grasped my arm tightly, pulling me closer towards him.  
  
" Yeah, well I'm sorry! I'm sorry for doing the right thing for once in my life!" I screamed back at him, pulling away from his grip.  
  
A suprised look tugged softly at his features. " Y-you think saving my life was the right thing to do?" His chocolate eyes darted towards the ground, filling with guilt.  
  
I paused, slowly sitting down next to him. " Spike... Nobody deserves to die like that. Nobody can choose to die, or even live. It's all the way fate unravels..." Obviously hurt by the truth in my word, he glanced back at me, smiling apologetically.  
  
" Fine. You win. I'll do the damn dishes..." He rolled his eyes blatantly, but smirked sarcastically right afterwards.  
  
I smirked sheepishly. " Good boy...I've got you wrapped around my finger and you know it..."  
  
He rolled his eyes at me, slowly shuffling towards the kitchen. Yep, we act like a married couple...  
  
Wait a second, that's not a good thing... Why was I smiling? I was supposed to be marrying Vicious, not Spike. Spike would be out of there before Vicious even gets home from his business trip...  
  
Vigorously shaking my thoughts out of my head, I shakily stumbled out of the living room and towards my bedroom. I had to get him out of my mind. He was slowly wiggling his way in, and I was actually.... no, no... I wasn't falling in love with Spike. It was all an attraction... right? Well, he was confusing the hell out of me, that's for sure. I had only known him for a week and I was already growing feelings for him. Is that even possible? Could you really have feelings for someone you met merely a week ago? And to top that off, I was engaged. I loved Vicious with all my heart, but Spike was so mysterious... I was drawn to him...  
  
I threw my tired body onto my bed, gripping the sheets tightly. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want Spike to leave. But what if Vicious came home early? I couldn't bring myself together to think about the consequences, because in fact, I wasn't used to it. I never thought about things before or after I did them, I just did it, with no regrets or wishes. And that was actually the first time I had ever thought about anything after it happened. Maybe its because it was truly a big mistake. I was gonna be married, yet there I was letting my heart grow on someone else. It's so funny. When I was a child, I told myself I'd only fall for one and only one person; one person that would make me eternally happy. Yet as I grew, all my thoughts changed totally on the subject. Then I met Vicious, and my thoughts reverted back to my childish hopes, and I was content. But it didn't end there. I had to meet Spike. And my thoughts just had to change again back to their old oblivious selves. Why did life have to make everything so complicated....  
  
I sighed heavily, sitting up upbruptly. I could hear Spike's curses from the other room, and my lips slowly curved into a smug smirk. I figured he was in the kitchen, making a futile mess just over doing dishes. That man could be so amusing at times...  
  
Imagining the mess my kitchen was sure to become, I dragged myself off of my bed, rolling my eyes slightly. I slowly trudged my body into the kitchen, sighing heavily for extra effect.  
  
" Spike... can't you at least do dishes properly?" I glanced at him and I couldn't help but laugh. There were soap suds all over the kitchen and inevitably all over him, his unruly green hair hidden behind massive amounts of the soapy content.  
  
He turned towards me, shooting me an icy glare. " What? At least I'm trying..." He turned back towards the sink, scrubbing the pan alot more vigorously than needed.  
  
I chuckled again, moving towards him. " How much soap did you use anyways?" I raised a brow at him sarcasticaly, smirking back at him mockingly.  
  
He sighed heavily. " I don't know... a little?" He continued to scrub the pan vigorously, I was beginning to wonder if he was gonna burn a hole through it.  
  
" A little?" I chuckled again, poking the soap suds that covered the counter.  
  
" If you're gonna sit here and make fun of me, you might as well leave. Besides, its not like I do the dishes everyday..." He angirly threw the rag in the water, splashing the soapy water all over me. I gave him a dangerous glare in return.  
  
" I'm not making fun of you! Just let me do it you stupid lunkhead!" I pushed him out of the way as best I could, rolling my sleeves up to ready them for the water.  
  
He pushed me back, giving me a sarcastic glare. " No, I was here first!"  
  
I rolled my eyes at him. " What, are you saying you want to do it?" I raised a brow at him, smirking coyly.  
  
" No! God damn it! You're such a stupid shrew!" He threw the rag at me, sending large amounts of soap suds in my direction.  
  
I caught the rag, swiftly throwing it back at him." Why do you always call me that?" If he was gonna play these games, I might as well fight back...  
  
" Because that's what you are!" He grasped a handful of suds and flung them at me, scattering them all across my face.  
  
I wiped the soap away. Oh, so he wants to play soap commando? " I am not! You're the stupid lunkhead dumb asshole!" I could've gone farther if I really wanted to...  
  
" Am I? Thanks for the words of wisdom, Faye..." He rolled his eyes at me, turning back towards the dishes. But I wasn't gonna end it there...  
  
I smirked coyly, flinging a handful of soap at him. " Don't mess with me Spike..." I gave him a dangerous look, but smirked sheepishly in return.  
  
I think that's what did it. He obviously had had enough, because before I knew it, I was on the ground, soap suds scattered all over me. He glanced down at me, smirking coyly at his defeat.  
  
I couldn't believe that bastard pushed me on the ground..." Hey! What the hell was that for you asshole!" I balled my fists up angrily, kicking him in the shins and sending him to the ground, soap suds flying through the air.  
  
His eyes widened in shock. He really didn't think I would do that? Boy was he naive...  
  
" I told you. Don't mess with me..." I pulled myself into a sitting position, wiping the soap suds off of my drenched body.  
  
" Ooo, you crossed the line Faye..." He gathered a large amount of soap, abruptly flinging them at me. I tried hard to block them, but they still managed to tangle themselves in my hair. I yelped immaturely, and he simply chuckled teasingly at me.  
  
So he really did want to play soap commando. Well then, let the games begin...  
  
So I know what you're thinking. How childish, right? Well put yourself in my situation. If someone is going to be flinging soap suds all over you, you're obviously going to fight back, especially if that person is Spike. I knew it would be quite the mess to clean up, but I'd just make him clean it up anyways. And besides, how often do you get in a soap fights? Yeah, that's what I thought....  
  
I tried hard to stumble away from Spike, but I slipped carlessly on a patch of soap, my whole body smacking the soapy floor with a thud. I grimaced at the pain, but I still pressed on, crawling on my hands and knees just to get away from him. I was losing miserably at the game we were playing, but I didn't care, it was still fun... in a scary kinda of way.  
  
" You're not gonna get away from me!" He smirked sheepishly, diving towards me and collapsing on top of me. My whole face burned into a deep crimson shade, and my eyes widened in shock. Spike was litterally lying on top of me, and he wasn't making any movement to get away. I tried to scream, but the only thing that came out of mouth was a little squeak that even I barely heard.  
  
I felt him position his body so he was lying more fully on top of me, his hands entangling in my violet tresses. He inched closer and closer, a coy smile pressed on his lips. I shut my eyes tightly. I couldn't bear to see what happened next, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna let myself give in to him. But despite how tightly I had my eyes closed, I could still feel his warm, inviting breath traveling down the open skin on my neck, sending chills down my spine. I finally opened my eyes, realizing that having them closed wasn't doing much, but I still couldn't look at him, my eyes fixing on the ceiling above me. His lips inched dangerously closer to my skin, and I swear I felt his lips brushing against my neck. But this time he wasn't drunk. And we both knew it. But he still continued, pressing his face closer and closer to mine. I bit my lip nervously, and I still couldn't look at him, although I know he wanted me to. He licked his lips, his warm tongue nearly pressing itself against my lips. I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I wasn't gonna look at him.... I wasn't gonna let him kiss me... His lips hung teasingly above mine, his breath pressing against mine, causing my whole body to tremble. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move. Couldn't speak.... Couldn't breathe... what was I supposed to do?  
  
I could feel him smirking at me, like he had won the fight. Which, technically, he had. I mean, hell, I was lying underneath him in a very uncomfortable position, in which he could've kissed me along time ago. But he didn't... or at least not yet.  
  
" I knew it. You did like it when I kissed along your neck at the club."  
  
My eyes widened in shock. That was what it was all about? He was teasing me... that bastard...  
  
" I thought you didn't remember it..." My voice finally returns to me, and I end up saying that?!  
  
He chuckled lightly. " I remember it. But I thought you didn't remember it..." He remained in the same position, his fervid breath continuing to travel across my skin.  
  
" I remember it..." I still couldn't look at him...  
  
" We were really drunk you know..."  
  
I chuckled lightly. " Trust me. I know..."  
  
" It's been a long time since I've been that drunk, and it's been even longer since I danced like that..." Damn. So he remembers all of it...  
  
I swallowed nervously. " Y-yeah... that was pretty... wild" Well, it was way more than just ' wild', but I wasn't gonna say anymore...  
  
" Kinda... erotic..." Oh, shit, now he's thinking of sex... I'm forever doomed...  
  
" A-a little..." I swallowed nervously again, my whole body trembling underneath him.  
  
" You're tense..." He licked his lips again, his chin brushing against mine.  
  
" A-a little..." My voice was staggering. I was so nervous. I could feel his inviting breath teasing me again, and I shivered in return.  
  
" Relax..." He traced a finger teasingly along my jawline and down my neck, stopping just above my right breast. He was REALLY making me nervous. I just wanted to get it over with and kiss him, but I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I really, really wanted to feel his lips against mine. But Vicious....  
  
" S-spike..." I finally approached it as best and bravely as I could. " W-what.... why are you doing this?" I swallowed nervously yet again, keeping my eyes fixed on the ceiling.  
  
He positioned himself on my trembling body just enough so I was forced to look at him, his chocolate mismatched eyes boring into me. " I was doing the dishes for you..." He casually wiped a soap sud away from my cheek, inching closer, back to his original position, his lips barely brushing against mine.  
  
" This is the strangest way to do dishes..." I smirked slightly at that remark. It was a pretty good comeback indeed...  
  
" Yeah... Never thought it could be so fun... maybe we should do it more often..." God damn it! Why was he doing that to me? I wanted to smack him and kiss him all at the same time. I wanted it all to end, but I also wanted it all to continue.  
  
I caught a glimpse of my engagement ring as I pressed my fingers to his lips, and my whole body melted in guilt. Why didn't I see it before? I was cheating on Vicious with another man, and I felt like such a slut. There I was having a great time, with another man at that, while my fiance was off on a business trip working! Although he never told me what he was doing on that business trip...  
  
Spike obviously noticed the pain in my eyes, and he pulled away, looking in my eyes. " What's wrong?"  
  
I shot him a pleading look. " V-Vicious..." It was all I could say. I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell him how I felt like such a slut for bretraying my fiance. I wanted to tell him how I truly did want him to kiss me.... and... I wanted to tell him how lost I felt between him and Vicious.  
  
His face straightened. " Oh... yeah... I forgot..." His words were extremely cold and hurtful, and I wanted to smack him. He acted as if Vicious was the enemy, when he was the one who was causing me to practically cheat on my fiance.  
  
" What do you mean?! I'm practically cheating on my fiance here!" For the first time, I tried to struggle away from him, wiggling back and forth vigorously.  
  
He gritted his teeth angrily, pushing me painfully farther into the cold tile floor. " What are you talking about!" He shook his head, sighing heavily, and ubruptly crawling off of me, leaving my body frigid and lonely. I suddendly wished I hadn't said anything...  
  
" Whatever Spike, you wanted to kiss me and you know it..." Okay, so that was a bit hurtful, but I didn't care, he deserved it.  
  
" What?! You were the one who practically screamed for me!" He threw his fists into the wall beside him, leaving a slight indention in the innocent drywall.  
  
" Oh, don't give me that shit! If you didn't wanna kiss me than why did stay on top of me like that?!"  
  
" Whatever Faye... whatever..." He obviously knew he was wrong, because he didn't say anything, else, he simply stomped away, kicking the wall as he made his way down the hallway.  
  
I was right. He wanted me. But the scary part of it all was that I wanted him back. I wanted to feel his kiss, but I just didn't know how to handle it all. But the worst part of it was that I didn't think of Vicious once until I was blatantly reminded of him...  
  
How was I gonna face either of them ever again?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Woo! Such a fluffy chapter! *pets the fluffiness of the chapter* XD  
  
How'd you like it? Are you guys even liking this story? Because no body is reviewing...  
  
* long silence*  
  
Nooo! People hate it! My hard work is stomped all over... please review, I'm beggin on my hands and knees with a cherry on top, litterally...  
  
I need to sober up a little bit first.... 


	5. Thirsty Lips

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
[ A/N: I'm seriously debating whether or not to rate this story R... so if it does change over and you're lookng for it. Make sure you check the R rated section. Thanx!]  
  
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The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
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Chapter 5: Thirsty Lips  
  
Have you ever been so mixed up in your feelings, that even your heart doesn't know what to do? Your eyes are glazed over and your mind is shaken, and you try so hard to fix everything all at once. Inevitably, you find yourself deeper and deeper in the grave you dug, with no one there to lend a helping hand. Everything's so cold... so bleak. So, what are you to do? Trying doesn't help, but sitting there and letting yourself rot away isn't doing mush either. And the only thing that comes to your mind is anger and frustration, for the fact that you are defeated by something so raw and premissive. It all seems so uncomplicated and so complex all at the same time. And you begin to wonder... is it really your feelings that your mixed up in? Or the difference between love and lust...  
  
Whatever it is... I know that's the feeling I have for Spike. It's not like I don't want to love Spike, but the timing is so off. If only we'd have met a few years ago, then everything would be perfect. Or would it? Maybe it was truly fate that brought us together, and the whole puzzle will eventually piece itself together...  
  
So all I can do is wait... Which is something I'm not very good at...  
  
~*~  
  
My heart still continued to race, my body trembling rigorously. My cheeks still felt warm, my skin fervid and fiery where his breath had caressed softly. He had tried to kiss me, I know of it. His closeness was risky and fatal, but soft and adoring all at the same time. I was addicted and there was no turning back, it was way too late for that. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened between us if I didn't stop him. But I almost regretted it... He was so close... close enough for anything to happen...  
  
I tossed and turned, my body settling uncomfortably in every position possible. I had tried everything; lying on my stomach, resting against the wall, hell, I even tried moving onto the floor. Of course that didn't work, but at that point, nothing did. My mind was set on something else... No matter what I did, his face wouldn't erase itself from my mind. I even tried thinking of Vicious, but sadly, even that didn't work. He was stuck, and he wasn't moving. But I almost didn't want him to. I liked him lingering in my thoughts, because in my thoughts, everything would work out just right, with no complications. It was like some type of fairy tale I was planning out in my mind, even though I knew it was never possible. It would never work between Spike and I, it was too late for that...  
  
I licked my lips feverishly. My mouth felt so dry and irritated, and I had a sudden craving for a glass of water. But I couldn't go in the kitchen, then I'd have to walk by... him. But that need for any type of liquid was burning deep inside my throat, I couldn't just ignore it, right? I shakily forced my body into a sitting position, my eyes fixing earnestly at the crack in my bedroom door. He was litterally just behind that door, and I could hear his breath exiting his lungs in a soft snore. I swallowed nervously, swinging my legs over the side of my bed, never letting my eyes leave that crack in the door. I could feel my body trembling, and I swore it was loud enough for him to hear, but I continued, nervously stumbling my way towards my bedroom door. My trembling hand finally met the doorknob, but as the cool metal collided with my skin, I froze. So many thoughts flooded into my mind. What if he was awake? What if he tries to... seduce me, again? What if...  
  
Hell, no... I'm not the type to worry, and I wasn't gonna let myself start...  
  
I determindly pressed the door open, a soft creak answering me in return. I shook my body out as another feeling of fear tried to enter my veins. There was nothing to fear. What was my problem anyways?  
  
I slowly took the first step towards the living room, the hall night-light the only source guiding my way. I traced my hands along the wall of the hallway for direction, making sure my careless feet didn't make any unwanted noises. I finally reached the end of the hallway, my eyes gazing upon his restless form lying on the couch, his long lanky body hanging off the edge slightly. I blushed slightly, biting my lip nervously. He looked even better in the moon-light, his bare skin reflecting illuminately against the moons soft rays. He had that boyish look on his face that screamed of innocence, and that familiar urge to kiss him slowly crept up inside of me.  
  
But that wasn't what I was there for... I wanted a glass of water. Maybe..  
  
I slowly, carefully stepped past him, never keeping my eyes off of him. I didn't want to wake him, it was practically my biggest fear at the moment, even if aliens came and invaded my house I wouldn't of noticed. Swiftly slinking in the kitchen, a sigh of relief escaped my lips. I had sucessfully walked by him without waking him or having a nervous breakdown. I think I deserve some type of recoginition for that defeat....  
  
I carefully slipped my hand in the cabinet and pulled out a glass, softly setting it on the counter. I swallowed nervously.. turning on the faucet would definitely make a noticeably pungent noise that even the catgirl I was couldn't prevent. But I was so thirsty, and I had already made it that far...  
  
Forcing all my thoughts away, I slipped my hand on the handle of the faucet, carefully placing the glace underneath. I gritted my teeth nervously, pressing the handle up, letting the faucet flow in a slow drip. Of course, I could've just left it at that and just waited patiently for my glass to fill up, but noo, being the impatient person I was, I just had to throw the faucet up into full speed, splattering unnecessary water everywhere possible.  
  
I cursed fiercely under my breath, wiping up as much of the water up as I could. I took one long gulp of my water, sighing happily as I made my way out of the kitchen. And for a second there... I had carelessly forgotten about Spike...  
  
" You're up..." His voice was soft and barely audible, but it still scared the shit out of me, my whole heart practically jumping out of my chest as my glass of water fell to the ground with a shatter, glass scattering everywhere.  
  
" Shit!" I cursed again, quickly scurrying into the kitchen and grabbing the nearst towel.  
  
" Here, let me help you...." He bent over beside me, picking up extra pieces of glass.  
  
As nervous as I already was, my body was obviously shaking in fear. I was using everything I had inside of me just to hold myself together... " That's okay. I've got it..." I wiped up as much as I could, threw my towel in the kitchen, and bolted... fast..  
  
He grasped me by the arm tightly, shattering all my plans to escape him. " Faye..."  
  
I gave him a pleading look, still pulling away from him slightly. " T- thank you for the help Spike..."  
  
" Faye. Stop squirming..." Suprisingly, I obeyed him, my whole body frozen in a stationary position.  
  
" Spike..." I shut my eyes tightly, forcing myself not to look at him.  
  
" Listen. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean anything by it..." He let go off my arm, his eyes darting away from me.  
  
" It's not your fault, the glass just slipped... that's all." I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I just didn't want to bring that up with him.  
  
" That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it." He met his eyes with mine, narrowing them slightly.  
  
" Oh..." It was all I could say, because, in fact, I did know what he meant.  
  
" I just miss her..." He slowly made his way towards the couch, gazing out the window intently, letting his body collapse on the soft barrier below him.  
  
I shot him a confused look. " Miss her?" I wanted to know. Who was he talking about?  
  
" Julia..." He shut his eyes tightly, gripping the couch tightly as he whispered her name into the cold silence.  
  
Julia... It was her. He had said her name when I was bandaging him... But who was she to him?  
  
" Was she... your lover?" My heart wrenched. I couldn't bear to think of him with anyone else... and we weren't even together...  
  
" She was more than that... she was my angel..." He kept his gaze out the window, his voice trembling.  
  
I moved towards him and sat down next to him in attempt to catch his attention, but his eyes never left the incandescent sky. " W-what happened?" I was scared to ask. I didn't want to hurt him with my pondering. But I really did care, and I really did want to know...  
  
" She died..." He paused, turning towards me with a glint of sorrow reflecting in his mismatched eyes." the day that you found me..."  
  
My breath caught in my throat. That was why he wanted to die. That was why he had given up on life. I don't blame him...  
  
" I-I kept thinking it was all a dream, and that I'd finally wake up one day.... But before I knew it, I was awake, but I was in a nightmare... it wasn't what I always thought it would be..." He finally opened his eyes, glancing at me, tears welling up. He truly loved this woman with all his heart... and it pained my heart to think so..  
  
" Nothing is ever what it seems..." I reached out, entangling my fingers in his as an act of comfort. Obviously it didn't work, because his whole body tensed up, gripping my hand tightly to the point of pain.  
  
He shot me an icy glare. " You have no idea what's its like! She was cheating on me with-" He choked, swallowing his last bit of words, his eyes widening in shock.  
  
" What?" It seemed he was hiding something from me...  
  
" Nothing, nevermind..." He shoved my hand away. He really was hiding something from me... but what?  
  
" Spike, I want to know, I really do care- " I slipped my hand over my mouth, forcing the last bit of words away that I almost let slip. That was a close one...  
  
" Will you just shut-up! You already have your whole life laid out in front of you!" His voice was raising to a dangerous level, but I wasn't gonna let myself get to the breaking point...  
  
" Who said it was what I wanted!!" Okay, so I let myself hit the breaking point... who could blame me?  
  
His eyes widened. " You're telling me you don't want to marry Vicious?" His voice returned back to a soft pleading whisper, his eyes softening slightly.  
  
I sighed wrethchedly. I can't belive I had let that one slip out..." I-I... I don't know anymore..." There. I said it. You happy?  
  
" Yeah, well, don't we all?" He sighed along with me, letting his body slouch over slightly.  
  
" What do you mean?" I inched towards him, just even enough to look him in the eyes.  
  
He sighed again. " I mean, this life. What is it?"  
  
" I don't know anymore... I thought I did... but then I met you..." Oh, shit! Did I let that one slip too?  
  
He shot me a suprised look. " What?"  
  
I blushed nervously, letting out a slight titter. " N-nothing... nevermind..."  
  
He chuckled lightly, wrapping his arm around my neck, and childishly giving me a noogie. " Faye, Faye... you can be so amusing sometimes..."  
  
I angrily smoothed my hair back down. " What are you talking about?!" Suddendly noticing our closeness, my face burned into a deep crimson shade all the way up to the root of my hairs. I was wearing a silky, lacy night gown, and he wasn't even wearing a shirt, who could blame me for acting all school-girlish?  
  
" Nothing..." He replied teasingly, continuing to drape his arm around my neck and over my shoulder, slightly brushing my smooth skin. My whole body was beginning to gain that familiar fiery feeling....  
  
" Nothing?!" Okay, so he was making me a little angry. He could be such a teaser sometimes...  
  
" See? You're doing it again..." He chuckled again, pulling me a little closer.  
  
I forced him to look at me. " Doing what?!"  
  
He was bursting with laughter, clutching his stomach just to hold it in. " You get so angry... it's so cute..."  
  
My face litterally turned beet red at that comment, my heart beating faster and faster. " Cute?" I smirked sheepishly. This could get amusing... " I'm not cute Spike, I'm sexy and you know it." I poked his cheek teasingly, causing my body to lean in closer.  
  
" Oh, my mistake... sorry about that..." He rolled his eyes slightly, smirking coyly.  
  
I challenged him. " Are you saying I'm not sexy?"  
  
" No, of course not..." He bit his lip, smirking sexily.  
  
" So, you're saying I am sexy." I raised a brow at him. I had trapped him, and he knew it...  
  
" N- well yes, but you're already taken... so...." His eyes darted away from me, and I swear I saw him blush....  
  
" I'm taken... Hmm... never knew..." Leaned in towards him teasingly, forcing him to look at me.  
  
He really was blushing....  
  
He rolled his eyes at me, smirking slightly. " Get over here you slut..." He pulled me against his chest, my head resting under his chin. That fiery feeling surged through my whole body, shivering as he wrapped his arm around my thin waist.  
  
But I wasn't done teasing. " Slut?"  
  
He chuckled lightly, leaning against the back of the couch, inevitably taking me along with him. My cool cheek rested against his bare skin, and I trembled in return. He was doing it again, and this time.... I wasn't gonna stop him...  
  
Don't say anymore. I know what you're thinking. And personally, I don't really care what you have to say, because if you were in my situation, you would definitely let the man have his way, fiance or not. Now, I know that's quite scandalous. But think about it. I'm talking about Spike Spiegal, holding me in a close embrace, his warm aura pressing against my cold, trembling body, letting all the sorrow diminsh before my eyes. And if you disagree? You obviously have no idea what his smooth skin feels like... it's absolutly hypnotizing with his warm breath pressing against that ticklish spot in your ear. Too bad you can't feel it for yourself....  
  
I felt my eyes becoming heavier and heavier, my body slowly relaxing against his. Despite the akwardness of the whole situation, I really truly felt relaxed lying in his arms, like it all fit togther. And his touch was so tantalizing...  
  
I guess I hadn't realized how tired I really was....  
  
~*~  
  
It was so warm. So very warm and inviting... That familiar yet indistinct smell entered my nostrils, teasing my senses slightly. I snuggled closer to the warmth, in attmept to diminish the cold aura stinging the open skin on my back. My half-awake form had no idea what it was, but it sure did feel good, and I wanted more of it. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, determined to figure out the mysterious new sensation pressing my body into a warm enveloping embrace. It all seemed blurry at first, but after numerous amounts of blinking, my memory finally came back to me, smacking me straight across the face.  
  
I gasped sharply, my eyes widening at the sight of him. He was pressing me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapped around me protectively. My body was lying comfortably on top of him, my chin rested on his bare chest. I could feel my cheeks gaining that familiar burning feeling...  
  
I leaned in closer, letting my chin rest against his as I gazed upon his perfectly boyish face he always achieved when he slept. I softly traced a finger across his closed eye-lid, down his cheek, and across his lips, lingering my touches momentarily. I slowly reached down, tracing my fingers across the long scar on his left side and down towards his abdomen. I was getting quite risky, but I didn't care, how long would this moment last anyways? I leaned in even closer, letting my lips rest against the crook in his neck, inhaling his tantalizing scent. It was so amazing how innocent and sensual he was at the same time, and I couldn't even imagine what his ksis would be like...but I wanted to find out... fiance or not...  
  
I bit my lip nervously, my cheeks burning into a deep crimson shade. I slowly leaned in towards is lips, his moist, warm breath teasing my yearning lips. I was really gonna do it. I was really gonna kiss him. I was gonna finally taste that sweet sensation I had always imagined. But there was something stopping me.....  
  
" Are gonna do it or not?" His voice startled me and I jumped back, gasping sharply. His eyes remained shut, but there was a cocky smile pressed against his lips.  
  
" What?" I froze, my voice the only working component in my body.  
  
He opened his eyes, smirking sheepishly. " You know, you should have more confidence..." He was teasing me. That bastard was teasing me...  
  
" What?" It seemed that was the only word I could get to come out of my mouth.  
  
" Don't play dumb with me..." He paused, licking his lips teasingly. " You know... your touches are really addicting..."  
  
I gasped, my eyes widening. He was REALLY teasing me, and it was finally beginning to piss me off...  
  
" What's the matter Faye? Something stopping you?" He leaned in towards me, hanging his mouth open slightly, his warm breath pressing against my lips.  
  
I froze, and even my voice broke away from me, scampering away cowardly. I didn't know what to do. I really was gonna kiss him before, but suddendly... I couldn't breathe... couldn't speak... couldn't move. I was trapped, and he knew it...  
  
" I- " I finally let out a slight squeak, but nothing happened afterwards, I remained frozen, my eyes wide with shock.  
  
" And I always thought you were a head-strong girl..." He licked his lips again, lightly brushing his warm tongue against my lips, but I still remained frozen, unaware of what to do.  
  
He was right. I was never the type to act like that. I would've kissed him along time ago... but he was different... so... captivating, and I didn't know how to handle it. He wasn't like most men. There was this strange mystery behind his dark mismatched eyes that I couldn't quite figure out, and it drew me to him. But when I was near him, I didn't know how to act. I was so naive around him....  
  
I think my mind had finally registered everything, because I blinked twice, cocking my head to the side. " You were awake?" Yeah, told you...  
  
He chuckled lightly, but remained in the same position, his lips litterally inches away from mine. " Who couldn't wake up when you're caressing people like that..."  
  
I swallowed nervously. Okay, so he WAS awake... oops?  
  
I smirked sheepishly, finally gaining a bit of courage. " Yeah? Did you like it?" I was teetering on the fine between risky and shocking...  
  
" Did you?" Wow, he was good at those comebacks...  
  
" Depends..." I finally gave in, leaning in even closer, barely brushing my lips against his.  
  
He raised a brow at me. " Depends? On what..." I could feel his hands roaming down my hips, burning through my silk night gown with each touch.  
  
" Did you like it?" I pressed on teasingly again, raising a brow. He hadn't answered my first question...  
  
" Maybe..." He nipped playfully at my lips, but slowly shrunk away afterwards. He was being quite the teaser...  
  
" Maybe? You liked it... don't lie..." I rested my lips against his chin, lingering tauntingly.  
  
Where was all this courage coming from? One second, I could barely breathe around him, and the next, I'm seducing him with dangerous words and risky moves. I'm telling you. It's all him. He's the one the blame...  
  
" I won't lie... it felt pretty good..." His hands roamed along the bare skin on my back, sending shivers down my spine. I was practically screaming for more...  
  
" Pretty good?" I pressed my fingers to his lips, and that damned ring caught my attention. But this time, guilt wasn't an issue... I was WAY to caught up in something else...  
  
" Fine. VERY good..." He leaned in for the finale, but I wasn't gonna give it to him yet...  
  
" Good boy..." I licked my lips teasingly, tracing my finger along his jawline.  
  
He sighed lightly, smirking sheepishly. " Are you gonna kiss me or not?"  
  
I smiled. I knew it was coming... " Are you?"  
  
That was finally it. After long excruciating moments of teasing and seducing, he finally crushed his yearning lips against mine, nibbling and massaging with his skillful tongue. And let me tell you, it WAY more than I imagined. It was sweet and racy all at the same time, causing my whole body to melt into nothingness. My heart was racing, and every second that passed, I wished more and more that it would never end. Everything about it was so utterly addicting... And I wanted it over and over again. But that strange twinge of guilt was still stabbing my heart, despite the force I was using to push it away....  
  
He finally stopped, looking into my eyes. I groaned protestingly, I wanted more of it...  
  
" And I thought for sure you'd be the one who kissed me first..." He smirked coyly, running his hands across my back and along my shoulders teasingly.  
  
" You just couldn't resist me..." I raised a brow at him tauntingly, smirking coyly.  
  
" You were practically moaning for me... how couldn't I resist you?" He nipped playfully at my neck, his fervid breath boring into my skin tauntingly, sending shivers down my spine.  
  
" That was the best- " I paused, my eyes widening with pain.  
  
It had finally hit me... long after it was too late. I was cheating on my fiance... majorly. And I had almost told another man that his kiss was the best I had ever tasted. That twinge of guilt suddendly transformed into a painful throbbing ripping my heart into shreds. I really felt like a slut... Not only had I kissed the man, but I had slept in the same vacinity as him, a mere nightgown seperating our nakedness. But it was all just lust... right? Uh-oh....  
  
" Faye?" He shot me a confused look.  
  
" I- " There it was. That strange feeling where I can't even breathe, let alone speak...  
  
" What's the matter?" He nipped at my neck again, but I pushed him away, my eyes widening slightly.  
  
" I-I... I can't do this Spike..." I rolled off the couch, smacking the hardwood floor with a thud. The pain surged through my body, but I couldn't do anything but let my legs carry me as far away from him as I could get. I slammed my bedroom door behind me, quickly throwing my guilty body on my bed, letting the tears spring from my eyes.  
  
I had really done it that time...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okay, so maybe I should rate this story R ....  
  
Wow, extremely long chapter, but I bet you liked it....  
  
* dead silence*  
  
NOOO! * strangles everyone who hates my story*  
  
I'm so proud of this story and all you do its stomp all over it! LMAO, just kiddin. But still, pwease review! I'll kill Spike if you don't! Not really.... 


	6. Difference Between Lust and Love

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 6: Difference Between Lust and Love  
  
Lust. A want. A need... a desire. There are many definitions for it, and many different ways to view it. Some say its scandalous, an act of sexual tension. But others say its ecstasy, an act of your deepest devotion. Whatever it is, we all feel it, no matter how hard we try to fight it. It's like this burning sensation in your mind, quarelling over what's right and wrong. And sometimes, you feel it at the worst times, with the wrong person. But you can't shove it away, it still lingers, no matter how fiercely you doubt it. Your body is screaming yes, but your mind is frantically telling you no, and you're left relying on nothing but your intuition. So what are you to do? You figure you might as well get it all over with, but at the same time, you know that its wrong and it will definitely lure you in deeper in the long run. Which most of the time it does...  
  
But... there's no ignoring it, so why not get it over with? It couldn't possibly be that bad...  
  
It's just a desire for another's body, or even attention. Once its over with, all those urges will slowly diminish, because you've already felt them, why want more of it?  
  
But you're also forgetting addiction....  
  
~*~  
  
His lips still lingered, burning deeply with sensation. But also... burning with guilt. I had actually done it. I had cheated on Vicious. I wasn't drunk. There wasn't anything veering me indirectly. So why had I done it? I knew it was wrong, and I knew the consiquences, so why had I let it happen? And not only let it happen, but also yearn for it at the same time. I really wanted him to do it. I wanted to feel his kiss, taste his sweetness. Maybe I thought my feelings would die away....  
  
They didn't....  
  
I laid motionless on my bed, my eyes burning with fresh tears. My head throbbed and my whole body ached frigidly. I was never the type to let myself fall that deeply in pain, but when I met him... everything changed. Before, if a man was hurting me, I'd just leave, no regrets, no wishes. I wouldn't think one moment more about the pain I felt, I'd just leave it all behind with the scumbag who had caused it in the first place. And I'd carelessly move on, like it was nothing, almost like it was an everyday thing for me. But after I met him... I had slowly transformed into a coward, running away from my feelings inside, rather than the problem on the outside. I suddendly realized why I used to resolve my problems that way... the pain was so much more bearable.  
  
I rolled my limp body over, facing the cold, frigid wall. I tried hard to force my thoughts away, but they just kept crawling back to me, mocking me ungratefully. I shivered lightly at the lonliness I felt deep inside. I wanted everything back to normal before I met Spike. I wanted it to be just Vicious and I, sharing our love for each other. Why had he gone on that business trip? Then I never would've met Spike... But wait, I didn't want that.... Did I?  
  
I heard a light shuffle outside of my bedroom door, but I ignored it, way too caught up in the thoughts throbbing miserably in my mixed up mind. I shut my eyes tighter, pulling my body into a tight ball, forcing out as much of the outside world that I could. There was a slight change in the weight on my bed, and my eyes widened, finally realzing there really was someone in my room....  
  
" Listen, Faye, we need to talk." His sharp hurtful voice pierced through me, never giving me time to even think about the situation.  
  
I froze. What was I going to do? What was I going to say? There were no explanations for my actions...  
  
" Are you listening to me?!" His voice raised dangerously, causing my trembling body to jump back slightly.  
  
" What do you want?" I shot him a cold glare, finally regaining my recollection.  
  
" What do you I want?! I'd really like to explain to you what happened a few minutes ago!" He beat his fists into the soft comforter that covered my bed, forcing my body into a sitting position.  
  
" Really Spike? What happened, tell me that..." I narrowed my eyes at him, clenching my fists tightly.  
  
" Do you have any idea what you do to me?!" He leaned in towards me, narrowing his eyes back at me.  
  
" What?" I was confused...  
  
He sighed heavily, darting his eyes to his clenched fists. " She... dies. And then YOU come in to my life, reminding me of her even more!" His words were cold, almost as if he was blaming her death on me.  
  
" What are you talking about..." My voice suddendly became cold and frigid, confusing me even more. Why was I acting like that?  
  
" It was all a mistake! THERE I said it! YOU HAPPY!" He was screaming at me, but I don't even think he was realizing how angry he was becoming.  
  
" Mistake?" A sudden piercing feeling penetrated through my aching heart, but I forcefully shoved it away. He was right...  
  
" I-I was just missing her love... and you were the only one there..." His mismatched eyes met with mine, slicing through me like a readied knife.  
  
" Only one there?" My voice became soft and barely audible, but I knew he heard it.  
  
" Don't you understand me?!" He was raising his voice again...  
  
I fumed. He was really blaming this whole thing on me..." Understand?! Oh, of course Spike! Everyone's world is just supposed to stop spinning just because somebody dies!" Okay, so that was VERY hurtful...  
  
His eyes widened with rage, his whole body trembling. " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!" He grasped me by neck, pulling his gun out and forcing it against my head. The cool, dense metal pressed against my temple, sending shivers down my spine.  
  
I froze. Spike was holding a gun to my head, his eyes glazed with hatred. I had really gone too far that time. I barely knew the woman, yet there I was, putting her down with my harsh words. It was over. I had really ruined it between us...  
  
" Don't act like you know her. She was my love, my one and only. She was nothing like the bitch you are..." He pressed the gun farther into my head, trembling with fury.  
  
My eyes widened, tears streaming down my cheeks. " L-let me go you bastard..."  
  
He narrowed his eyes at me, slowly lowering the gun. " You've got guts Faye, I could've shot you if I wanted to..."  
  
I shot him an icy glare. " You didn't... did you?"  
  
He slowly loosened his grasp around my neck, never keeping his angered gaze off of me. " I still can if you want me too..."  
  
" Spare me."  
  
He narrowed his eyes yet again. I think I was challenging him. " Vicious isn't what you think, Faye..." He blatantly changed the subject, finally breaking his gaze from me.  
  
" Oh, so now your blaming her loss on my fiance?" I shot him a determind look.  
  
His eyes widened with even more anger than the first time, his teeth gritting together painfully. " I have the right to..."  
  
" What gives you the right to blame anything on me or my love?" I clenched my fists angirly, thrusting them into the cold wall beside me.  
  
" SHUT-UP!! You don't know anything about us! Quit acting like you do!" He pushed me forcefully into the wall, pulling out his gun yet again.  
  
" Go ahead, Spike... shoot me, see if I care..." I grasped his hand tightly, raising the gun towards my head. I swear I saw tears pressing against his mismatched eyes...  
  
" Death doesn't prove anything..." His voice became soft and passive. But he was thinking of her...not me...  
  
" Why not?"  
  
He remained silent, slowing shutting his chocolate eyes. He truly loved her. Everytime he looked at me, he thought of her... My rage was only my disguise of jealousy. I hated that woman and I didn't even know her. She was that obstacle I couldn't cross, that nightmare I could never awake from. But I didn't understand why. I wasn't even in love with Spike. But I still felt that she was taking something away from me...  
  
" Was she beautiful?" I shut my eyes softly, forcing the tears away. I wanted to know more about her... there was something about her I couldn't quite figure out.  
  
" She looked like an angel..." He slowly lowered the gun, loosening his grasp on me. " But she wasn't mine..."  
  
" What?" I shot him a confused look.  
  
He sighed lightly, letting his body slouch against the wall. " She loved someone else..."  
  
" Who?" My heart told me not to ponder any farther... but I wanted to know what made him hurt the way he did.  
  
He paused. " Uh..." I could tell he was nervous... but why?  
  
" What's the matter Spike?" He was beginning to confuse the hell out of me...  
  
" N-nothing..." His eyes gazed beyond blankly...  
  
There was a sudden sting of pain in my heart. This is what we were... Nothing more. We would never share love, we had our own lives, our own dreams. And our futures would never collide. But I never wanted it to be like that. Somehow I just wanted everything to work out... We were just lost souls wandering aimlessly, our paths temporially crossing... But it would all be over soon... But I had to get that repulsive desire out of me...  
  
" S-spike..." I approached the subject slowly and cautiously. I wanted to know..." Was it really all a mistake to you... nothing more?" I pulled myself into a taught ball, resting my chin my knees. I couldn't look at him...  
  
He paused, sighing slightly. " Faye..."  
  
" Spike, I wanna know... do you feel nothing for me?" I continued to stare at the floor before me... I couldn't look at him.  
  
" I... f-feel..." I could feel him trembling beside me.  
  
I sighed nervously. This was it, I could finally get it out of my system... " Lust..." I bravely finished his sentence for him, shutting my eyes tightly... I wasn't gonna look at him...  
  
" Maybe..." He shuffled his body nervously, popping his knuckles to ease him back to comfort. I don't think it was working...  
  
" Maybe?" I pondered on. If he wanted to get it out of him system... so did I...  
  
" Yeah... I think that's it..." He fidgeted his body, accidentally brushing his thigh against mine. He quickly withdrew, whispering an uneasy apology. My cheeks were burning...  
  
" I think there's... tension... s-sexual tension between us... Am I right?"  
  
" Yeah..."  
  
I swallowed nervously. This was it. I had to get it out of my system forever. " D-do you wish... that we could get rid of it?" I darted my eyes towards the wall... I wasn't gonna look at him...  
  
" Sometimes... do you?" His eyes were doing the same as mine. There was definitely tension...  
  
" I think... sometimes... that we need to. You know, so we can finally just be ourselves around each other..." I was trembling, and he knew it. I was so nervous, but why?  
  
He chuckled. " Faye... that's the worst way to ask for some sex..." He was teasing again. One second, he's all serious. And the next, he's teasing me? That man was so full of unpredictable supirses...  
  
" Is it?" I smirked coyly. If he was to play games, I wasn't gonna sit back and let him win...  
  
He chuckled again. " You act so worried. Sex is so much different than real love and you know it..." He poked me in the arm. I still wasn't gonna look at him...  
  
" Yeah? Sex is good..." I licked my lips. Oh, shit, I'm gettin carried away again...  
  
" Yeah, well, you've got a fiance for that..." He voice suddendly became serious again. I missed the cocky Spike...  
  
I chuckled lightly, bitting my lip nervously. " You just said it. Sex is so much different than love... would it really matter?" That desire must have REALLY been burining for me to go and say something like THAT. I was totally forgetting Vicious, but at the moment, I didn't care. I had one thing on my mind, and I wanted to get it out of my mind. Which only meant one thing...  
  
Before my mind even had time to think, I could feel his warm body slowly pressing me against the wall, his mismatched eyes boring into me. This was it. This was finally it. All of my feelings for Spike would diminish slowly, then I could go back to thinking of Vicious. But my heart painfully doubted me. What if this didn't work? What if this only caused problems?  
  
It didn't matter to me at the moment. The only thing I had on my mind was Spike's hand slowly making its way up my thigh, leaving a tingling sensation with each soft touch.  
  
" S-spike..." I paused, stopping him from going any farther. " W-what about... Julia?"  
  
" What about her? You said it yourself... sex is different than love..." He leaned in slowly, pressing a soft, damp kiss on the lobe of my ear, my body practically screaming with desire.  
  
" Yeah... But you've got to promise me... no regrets after this is over with, and no looking back either. Only live it in the moment..." My voice was dangerously low, and husky, that tension inside of me burning deeper and deeper.  
  
" Promise..."  
  
Well, I know what you're thinking, and I think I'm thinking the same thing. But who could stop us? Ever since we met, we had been sharing sensuous situations, and that tension inside of us was just building with every close embrace. It didn't make any sense, actually. Just a second before, we were screaming at each other to the point of killing, but then suddendly, we morph into wild monkeys, begging for each other. But isn't that what lust does to you? Well, that's what I always thought anyways....  
  
I pulled him closer, my heart racing with every inch closed between us. His hands were skillfully roaming along my body, leaving my skin blazing with passion. That kiss that we departed just an hour ago wasn't enough... I wanted more... His inviting lips pressed against my neck, nibbling along my collar bone eagerly. I was litterally shivering with desire, my whole body fiery and fervent. I didn't understand how he did it. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, my self-control slipping farther and farther away. Nothing would stop me now...  
  
I giggled lightly, trailing wet kisses down his face and along his jaw-line, my hands slowly making their way across his bare chest. He was whimpering with delight, his grip growing tighter and tighter on my hips. I leaned in slowly, nibbling at his bottom lip. I wanted that kiss again... He smirked coyly, pressing his lips against mine and letting his tongue massage its way in. That sweet taste entered my senses again, my whole body trembling underneath him. He slowly pulled away, teasingly letting his lips hang above mine, his warm breath tantalizing all five senses inside of me... He smirked again, slowly letting his hands guide themselves up my thighs teasingly. I was practically begging, my arms pulling him closer and closer.  
  
" Faye..." He whispered in my ear, slowly pushing me down into a laying position. " Should we really do this?"  
  
I smirked sheepishly. " Do you want to?"  
  
He chuckled. " Oh, yes..."  
  
" Then what's stopping us?"  
  
His warm body was on top of me, practically crushing my thin frame, but I didn't care. That was the least of my troubles at the moment. I pulled him closer into another hungry kiss. Nothing would stop me now...  
  
But as I glanced over his shoulder, the one thing that I was least worried about caught my sights and I froze.  
  
Vicious... wide-eyed and crazy....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dun, Dun, Dun * scary music plays*  
  
What's to happen next? Why are Spike and Faye always making out with each other? ( lol, had to throw that in) Is all really JUST lust? Find out next time... ------- this is my episode preview, lol.  
  
And, I'm soo sorry about their strange behavior in this chapter, but it was supposed to represent their craving lust for each other, and how it was controling them... Don't really like this chapter, but that's okay. And I think I'm having Spike and Faye make out too much... sorry bout that, I had some guy friends over and.... oh, nevermind...  
  
Thank you so much for the reviews ^_^ Please give me more, lol! 


	7. Blood Red Insanity

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 7: Blood-red Insanity  
  
I never thought it would really happen. It was one of the last things on my mind, and one of the least likely to intromit itself. But how could I not think of it? It was obvious he would be home any day then, but I still let myself get caught up. Spike had this mystery about him, and when I thought about him, that was all I was thinking about, nothing more, nothing less. It was only inevitable it would happen, considering all the heated moments we had been sharing since the moment we met, and all the times I had stopped to think about him. But if it was truly lust that I felt... why did I have this other feeling tugging at my heart? An unknown feeling... something I had never felt before...  
  
Was this love?  
  
~*~  
  
His eyes seethed with the blood-red tint of rage, his whole body trembling with unknown amounts of insanity. He tightened his fists tighter and tighter, blood slowly seeping from his rigid knuckles. I was scared. It was the angriest I had ever seen him. He looked as if he could kill a whole army with just one blow, and nothing was going to stop him. But his eyes were fixed on another target... Spike...  
  
Spike had told me he knew him, but as I watched their eyes flicker with pure hatred, I knew it was so much more than that. The silence between them was penetrating, chilling me down to the very last bone. They weren't moving. Just glaring deeply, as if they were the only last people in the world. I had to break this sooner or later, for fear of denial from both of them...  
  
I swallowed nervously. " V-vicious..." My wandering voice pierced between them, and all their attentions turned to me.  
  
His eyes burned with yet more rage. " Shut-up Bitch!" He quickly pulled his sword out, raising it towards me. Not once, but twice I had a weapon pulled on me that day. I was slowly beginning to panic...  
  
" You stupid slut! HOW COULD YOU! And with this piece of trash?!" He stepped towards me, his trembling body practically shaking the whole room.  
  
Spike slowly stepped forward, pulling out his gun. " Keep her out of this. It's me you want..."  
  
There was another silence as their hated gaze on each other deepened with even more hysteria. Vicious narrowed his eyes sharply. " I thought I killed you..." My eyes widened. It was Vicious. That whole time.... It was him...  
  
" You know you wanted me to live. You wanted me to suffer..." Spike slowly stepped towards him, tightening his grasp on his gun.  
  
Vicious glanced at me with dark eyes, quickly turning back towards Spike. " It seems you've been doing fine... What is this anyways? Is this you're revenge on me? Seducing my lover? That's pretty low..."  
  
Spike smirked. " Maybe. I'm just following your foot-steps..." I clenched my fists tightly, anger surging through my veins All that time... he was using me... FOR REVENGE?! What the hell happened in the first place anyways?!  
  
" She's not dead I hope you know. You can have her back.... but she doesn't love you anyways..."  
  
Spike's eyes filled with delirium, and he aimlessly shot at Vicious, the loud gunshot shattering the silence. " FUCK YOU! Quit drenching me with your lies damn it!!" Vicious quickly dodged his bullets, his cold eyes never leaving Spike.  
  
Vicious smirked evily. " Why run from the truth Spike. Julia never loved you... and you know it..." He swiftly raised his sword towards Spike, letting his eyes dart towards me temporaily. I shivered at his gaze. This was all my fault. Everything was my fault....  
  
" Why don't you stop and listen to your own advice? When are you going to tell your fiance the truth?"  
  
I froze. Truth? What the hell was he talking about? Vicious had nothing to hide from me... Right?  
  
Vicious narrowed his eyes at him, abruptly darting towards him, his eyes glazed with insanity. Spike quickly ducked away, knocking over a shelf in return. My room was way too small to be killing each other in, couldn't they see that? I trembled in fear. Why was this happening? I didn't want anything bad to happen to either of them... but it looked as though they wouldn't stop until death. I had to choose one or the other...  
  
I screamed obtrusively. I couldn't stand it anymore. It had to end, no matter what. I sharply pulled my gun out of my dresser, shakily aiming it at the two men. " STOP IT!!" My shrill voiced echoed throughout the room, causing the two enraged men to glance my way sharply.  
  
My aim slowly teetered between Spike and Vicious. I didn't know what to do. I loved Vicous... but.. Spike had slowly pushed his way inside of me.  
  
" Are you really gonna shoot me baby?" Vicious chuckled slightly. I narrowed my eyes back at him. He was making a joke of this? I wasn't going to let that happen any longer...  
  
My index finger was slowling pulling the trigger... tighter and tighter. " Y-yes... I will.. if you don't stop this."  
  
He chuckled again. " No you won't..."  
  
That was it. I had REALLY had enough. I pulled the trigger tightly, the bullet piercing threw the air in a swift fluid motion. It was like slow motion to me, the bullet twisting in hate as it barely passed by Vicious, shattering a window behind him. I shut my eyes tightly, letting the tears fall.  
  
Spike's mouth gaped wide open as he stared at me, shocked. Vicious simply smirked in return, lowering his sword and slowly making his way towards me. " Well, that's no way to treat your husband to be..." His cold arm slipped around my waist, pulling my limp body towards him. He softly traced a frigid hand up my body and towards my neck. He grasped my neck tightly, pain surging through me as I fought as hard as I could to breathe... to think... to move. I could see Spike slowly making his way towards us, gun aiming at the back of his head. But before I even gave my mind to think, I raised my gun... but not at the pain I was feeling. Not the man I hated at the moment... but at Spike. Vicious smirked coyly, loosening his grasp on my neck.  
  
" Spike... get away from me... Leave us alone..." My heart wrenched deeply, shattering into a million pieces. I had to choose... one or the other...  
  
Spike eyes widened with pain. His whole body froze as he slowly lowered his gun, never breaking the agonizing gaze he held on me. Even more tears poured down my cheeks... it all felt so wrong...  
  
Vicious pulled his sword out again, but I stopped him, pressing the gun against his head. " No... I want it all to stop. No more..." I pushed the gun farther and farther into Vicious's head as the silence greeted me grieviously. He slowly lowered his sword in return, fixing his eyes on me with a penetrating gaze.  
  
" Faye..." Spike's voice finally arose, drenched in pain and agony. It all felt so wrong...  
  
" Get out of here..." I shut my eyes tightly. This was our good- bye... It came faster than I thought...  
  
I kept the gun on Vicious's head, watching Spike slowly make his way out of my bedroom, never keeping his pleading eyes off of me. It was too easy... he'd be back... someday. They will be fighting each other until the day they die...  
  
I fell to my knees, the gun falling to the floor beside me. Tears streamed from my eyes, and my whole body throbbed with pain. It was over... I had really done it...  
  
" Faye..." Vicious's frigid hand met my neck again, sending shivers down my spine. " Why'd you do it?! Don't you love me?!" He kneeled down beside me, rage still continuing to boil in his cold blue eyes.  
  
" I-I do..." I shut my eyes even tighter. There was nothing to say. I had cheated on him. I was caught in the act, there was no point trying to lie.  
  
" SHUT-UP!" His desolating fist met my tear-stricken face, sending my limp body flailing against the wall. I flinched at the pain slightly, only letting more tears fall in return. I couldn't fight back... It was over...  
  
He violently grabbed my neck again, smashing my thin frame against the wall. " How long has this been going on?!"  
  
I remained silent, shutting my eyes even tighter. I couldn't look at him.... I couldn't fight back...  
  
" ANSWER ME BITCH!!" He smacked me straight across the face, engraving the pain even deeper.  
  
I swallowed nervously. " H-how... how do you know Spike?" The mention of his name filled my heart with hope, but Vicious... his eyes darkened with hate, his grip around my neck tightening ruthlessly.  
  
He remained silent, his cold eyes narrowing at me hatefully. Something was wrong. There was definitely something about Spike and Vicious that I didn't know, but I wanted to know. I was tired of geting left in the dark. I was tired of getting treated like shit. I wanted to be able to live freely... love freely.  
  
I finally opened my eyes, giving Vicious a determined glare. " Who's Julia?"  
  
Shock and bewilderment filled his entire face, his cold blue eyes widening. He slowly loosened his grip, shooting me an indignant glare. " You're lucky I love you Faye... you would've been dead long ago with that attitude..."  
  
I straightened my posture, clenching my fists tightly. " You still haven't answered my question... who is she?" I was getting risky, but at that point, I didn't care. It was all over...  
  
He abruptly grabbed my wrist, throwing me into the full body mirror, glass shatterning everywhere, decorating my limp body resting on the floor. " You WILL love me Faye!! And you WILL stop asking giving me that attitude!" He slowly stood up, brushing his trench coat off as if nothing had happened.  
  
I gritted my teeth tightly, as the blood poured from my wounds. Rage slowly replaced my woe, my eyes darkening as I gazed upon him. My tears were no more... My love was no more... It was over...  
  
He slowly turned around, gazing upon me, his form silhouetting against the bright light pouring in my bedroom. " I will kill him Faye. And you will not get in the way..." He paused pulling his sword out, the cool metal gleaming against the sunlight. " And if you refuse to love me... I will kill you as well..." He slowly turned around, making his way out of my bedroom. I watched as his dark form slowly disappeared out the front door, never turing to look back once. But I didn't want him to. I didn't want to gaze upon those cold eyes. I didn't want to feel the frigid aura around him... Why hadn't I seen this before?  
  
I shakily stood up, blood dripping from my wounds. It all seemed unreal to me. I felt as if I was in some kind of nightmare, and that I would be waking up to the beautiful sunlight once again. But deep inside... I knew that wasn't the case. But even so, I wouldn't let my heart believe it. I was stuck, with no turning back, and no where to run. I had ruined it... all of it. It would be the last time I saw Spike. The last time I could love Vicious. The last time I could feel love... It all had passed me by like a rapid blur, and it was over.... It was all over...  
  
I shuffled my weak body into the bathroom, collapsing to the cold, tile floor on my knees. I rested my head against the edge of the tub, clutching my wounds tightly. Why hadn't I seen it before. I really truly loved Vicious... but why couldn't I see his hate... his madness. His eyes never had seemed so cold to me. They were warm and loving. But that was when I loved him. I did not love Vicious anymore... I did not feel that warmth inside my heart for him... But then again... did I ever?  
  
I reached over and turned the faucet on, letting the cool water cleanse my bloodied hands. I shakily stood up, peeling my clothing off as gently as I could. Wincing at the pain, I slowly stepped in the frigid water, letting my weak body collapse in its density. I shivered as the cold water stung my skin, but I quickly forced it away. I did not want to feel warmth. I wanted to feel the coldness, for that is what I felt in my heart. That is what I felt when I thought of my life. I would no longer feel that happy, warmth when I awoke, and I would no longer dream anything but nightmares when I slept at night. This was reality. And it was litterally beating me into bloody mass of nothingness...  
  
I glanced down at the crystal water, my own blood mixing with its purity, leaving it a seething red tint. He had done this to me. He was my love, my future. Yet he was the one who had inflicted so much pain. Why didn't I kill him? Why did I threaten my only hope... Spike? He would've helped me end the nightmare, but I cowardly let the threatening values of life catch up with me. I made him leave... forever. I was truly the one to blame for this nightmare...  
  
It was over...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Short, but sad chapter... I was even shedding a few tears, and I know what's gonna happen at the end of this story, lol. Well, I'm also a very emotional person, so I guess that doesn't really count, right?  
  
Anyways... Did you like it? What will happen next? Don't know... You've got to reveiw... and then I'll type the next chapter... And THEN you'll find out lol.  
  
Oh, BTW, thank you for the great reviews, they've really inspired me to keep this piece of crap fan fiction going. But it's all for the love of Spike and Faye, right?  
  
Right.... 


	8. Could've Been

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously. And I don't own Mandy Moore's song " Could've Been", okay? If I did... I'd be rich... which, sadly, I'm not...  
  
*[ A/N: Okay, okay, I know I told you that I wouldn't change the point of views the rest of the story, but this chapter absolutely needed to be seen through Spike's POV. How else would I bring Julia into the story...]*  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 8: Could've Been  
  
My heart was wrenching... but why? She was alive. My Julia.... my love... she was waiting for me. But I couldn't stop letting my mind wander to Faye... that look in her eyes, that despair that seeped out. I had left her alone with that maniac. He was going to hurt her, no doubt about it. But I just didn't care at that moment. I had Julia. She was my angel... my dream, and she was alive. I had to find her. I had to escape the nightmare I was living. But could I escape it? Would there ever be an end to it? It didn't matter. Either way Julia would be there for me. Our love was forever. No matter what....  
  
But.....  
  
What was that feeling I felt around Faye?  
  
~*~  
  
It was a cold, lonely night, the night sky shrouded by a dark, gloomy veil. The streets were deserted, and the frigid wind rustled the trees, leaving them barren. I felt sad... regretful... anguished. I was going to see her. But why did I feel this way? Faye was nothing but an object of lust, right? Why would I ever truly care for her... I had Julia anyways...  
  
I slowly stepped towards the graveyard, my heart beating faster and faster anxiously. The cold wind pressed against my skin, sending chills down my spine. I was uneasy and edgy, my whole body trembling. Something about this felt so wrong... But it was Julia... nothing was wrong, right?  
  
I moved closer and closer, my footsteps echoing through the silence. I could see her silhouette in the mist. She was really there, her blond hair flowing across her back gracefully. It was really her...  
  
I slowed my pace down. What would I say? I loved her but... Vicious...  
  
It was too late to turn back now. She turned towards me, her deep blue eyes penetrating the darkness. Her face held no emotion... no happiness... no empathy... but she was still beautiful, as usual.  
  
I smiled at her, quickening my pace towards her, but I slowed down when I gazed upon her face. It wasn't the same. It wasn't that bright cheerful beauty, etched with a hint of secrecy. It was dark... agitated... angry....  
  
" Julia..." My voice was breathless, and the frigid air swallowed my words bleakly.  
  
She held a dying rose taughtly, its leaden petals rustling in the wind. Her dark gaze never left me as I moved closer and closer, my eyes drenched in disbelief. It wasn't Julia.... this wasn't my angel...  
  
~  
  
The flowers you gave me  
  
Are just about to die  
  
When I think about what could've been  
  
It makes me want to cry  
  
~  
  
" Spike..." Her voice was dry, rigid.... cold. It wasn't her...  
  
I moved towards her, hoping I could at least salvage that kiss I always dreamed of at night. But that look in her eyes... " Julia?"  
  
" What?!" She shot me a dark glare.  
  
My heart twinged at the tone in he voice. " W-what happened?"  
  
" What are you talking about..." Her gaze darted towards the ground, and she held the rose tighter, her hands trembling.  
  
" You're dead..." I slowly let my body fall upon hers, holding her in tight embrace. She felt so cold...  
  
" Does it look like it?" Her words were becoming more and more hurtful, and I could barely stand it anymore. I moved closer, letting my lips rest against her forhead.  
  
" Please... don't act like that..." I slipped my finger under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eyes. Her beautiful eyes were clouded and dark....  
  
She remained silent, glaring back at me, her eyes narrowing sharply. She moved closer, our lips only inches away. " Kiss me hard Spike... this is the last time that I will let you..."  
  
~  
  
The sweet words you whispered  
  
Didn't mean a thing  
  
I guess our song is over  
  
As we begin to sing  
  
~  
  
My head jolted back, my eyes widening at her." What?"  
  
She let her gaze dart to the barren ground once again. " You heard me..."  
  
I pushed away from her, my heart panicking. " I-I don't understand you..."  
  
She glanced back up at me, her eyes narrowing with hate. " You never did..."  
  
I froze. What was going on? That wasn't the Julia I loved... that wasn't the angel that had forsaken all my sorrows. She acted as if I was at fault... wait a minute. I was at fault.... Faye.  
  
" Julia... I love you. What are you talkng about?" I tried to pull her into another embrace, but she pushed away, shooting me a cold glare.  
  
" We never shared love... I don't know what you're talking about..." She let the rose fall to the cold ground, it's petals scattering across the graves surrounding us.  
  
Was she absolutely blind? What about our kisses? What about our embraces? What about our vows? Had it all completely erased from her mind? She acted as if she didn't ever love me. But she did.... didn't she?  
  
~  
  
Could've been so beautiful  
  
Could've been so right  
  
Could've been my lover  
  
Everyday of my life  
  
~  
  
" Stop it!" I pushed her forcefully, forcing away the tears. It wasn't her...  
  
She stepped towards me, slipping her hands in the pockets of her trench coat. " Stop what Spike? We never started anything in the first place..."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her. " What is wrong with you? This isn't the real you..."  
  
" Spike, there's nothing wrong with me. It's you. It's all your fault. I loved Vicious with all my heart, but then you come along..."  
  
" So you're saying you do love me..."  
  
She shot me a dark, piercing glare. " I NEVER said that..."  
  
I had had enough of her shit, Julia or not. It wasn't her anyways... it never could be... " So what are you implying Julia?!" My voice was raising dangerously, my fists trembling with anger.  
  
" You've always had hard time with that, you know? You just can't seem to understand the difference between lust and love."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her. " Maybe... but then again, maybe it's YOU with that problem...."  
  
~  
  
Could've been so beautiful  
  
Could've been so right  
  
I'll never know what could've been  
  
On a cold lonely night  
  
~  
  
" Spike... I'll admit it. I fucked you willingly. I wanted to... But I NEVER told you I loved you..."  
  
I froze. She was right. She was absolutely right, and it pained me to think so. Why hadn't I noticed it? She loved Vicious... not me...  
  
" So, you're telling me that you feel nothing for me?! Nothing at all?!" My whole body was trembling with rage. It wasn't right.... I had to be dreaming...  
  
" Did you listen to anything I said, damn it?! I LOVE VICIOUS!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!!" She pulled her gun out, shakily aiming it at my head. She wasn't gonna scare me with her threats... I wasn't going to let her... not then...  
  
" You know. It's funny. You were with me first, yet you still only shared lust with me..." I watched her from the corner of my eye. She was trembling...  
  
She remained silent, pressing the gun farther into my head. I didn't care. She could kill me if she really wanted. It was over... I had no one to love....  
  
But no.... I did have some one to love....  
  
Still, it was over... she was gone as well....  
  
~  
  
The memories of our lovin'  
  
Still linger in the air  
  
Like the faded scent of your roses  
  
Stay with me everywhere  
  
~  
  
" Are you going to shoot me or not?" My voice was dripping with sarcasm, and I kept my gaze on her, my eyes narrowing sharply.  
  
She pressed the gun even farther, practically piercing through the skin. " Yes... I am... I want to end this nightmare."  
  
I chuckled lightly. " I came here to do the same thing..."  
  
Her eyes widened, and she slowly lowered the gun." What?"  
  
" I told you Julia, I love you... no matter what, even if you want to kill me."  
  
" I love Vicious... I don't care about you..."  
  
" Why? Why do you love Vicious? He's engaged, Julia! Doesn't that tell you anything? Anything at all?!" I turned towards her, clenching my fists tightly.  
  
" He doesn't love that tramp! He loves me!" She raised the gun to my head once again, the cool metal sending chills down my spine. I wasn't gonna let her threats frighten me...  
  
I gritted my teeth, the rage seething deep inside me. " Don't you EVER talk about Faye that way!!"  
  
She narrowed her eyes at me, grasping the gun tighter. " It seems you're acquianted with her..."  
  
" What if I am?"  
  
" You fucked her, didn't you?" Her voice lowered to a whisper, as if she was trying to hide it from the world. They wouldn't hear anyways.... not there.... not then...  
  
" What if I did? Does it really matter? You don't love me... remember?"  
  
~  
  
Everytime I get my hopes up  
  
They always seem to fall  
  
Still what could've been  
  
Is better than what could never be at all  
  
~  
  
" You did... you slept with her..."  
  
I moved closer to her, pulling the gun out of her grasp. " You act as if it's a bad thing... You did the same thing to me... you cheated on me with Vicious, and I forgave you. Now, I wish I wouldn't have..."  
  
" I never asked for forgiveness Spike..." She shot me a cold glare, grasping the gun taughtly and raising it towards me.  
  
I chuckled. " Do you really think killing me will make it all go away?"  
  
" Stop mocking me Spike. I want this all to end..."  
  
" You want what to end? You never loved me, there's nothing to end..." I moved towards her, my face only inches away from her.  
  
" STOP twisting my words around like that!" She shoved me away, holding her aim tighter.  
  
~  
  
Could've been so beautiful  
  
Could've been so right  
  
Could've been my lover  
  
Everyday of my life  
  
~  
  
I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted it all to end. I wanted her to shoot me.... dying seemed like the only thing reasonable at the moment. Why did it have to happen like that? We were in love. Eveything was right, and we loved each other, no matter what she said. She denied it. She didn't know how to handle it. So she relied on the only thing she could trust... her hate...  
  
I gazed at her longingly, my eyes filling with sorrow. I missed her. I wanted to taste her kiss one last time. I just couldn't let her go, and I don't think I ever would. She was my Julia, and nothing could take her away from me... I thought...  
  
I leaned in slowly, pushing the gun away, resting my forehead against hers. I wanted to feel her love one last time, to cherish, and to hold when I died. Her whole body tensed up, but she didn't move. She shut her eyes tightly, letting her lips grow numb. I leaned in slowly, hoping to savor that warm feeling she gave me. But there was nothing. Nothing but the cold frigid wind pressing against our bodies. No love, no passion. But I continued, pressing my lips against hers, hoping to find that feeling I longed for. Her lips were cold, and her taste was different... it wasn't sweet and innocent like before, it was possessed... dark... and hateful. It wasn't like before...  
  
I pulled away slowly, gazing into her eyes. They had a hint of something I had never seen before...  
  
~  
  
Could've been so beautiful  
  
Could've been so right  
  
You can't know what could've been  
  
On a cold, lonely night  
  
~  
  
" Spike..." She pulled me towards her once again. " Why can't we just sleep with each other? Do we have to love each other?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her, my whole heart shattering into tiny pieces. That was all she wanted... She wanted my sex... not my love. Why hadn't I seen it? I had gotten my lust confused with love...  
  
" Yes... we do..." I pushed her away. I had had enough...  
  
" Why?" Her voice almost seemed challenging, as if she was testing me.  
  
" You slut..."  
  
Her eyes widened, the smug grin disappearing from her face. " What'd you say?!"  
  
" You heard me... You're a slut, go run off to your Vicious... if he's not fucking his fiance..." I was absolutely appauled by the words coming out of my mouth. This was my Julia I was talking to... and I was calling her a slut?  
  
She pulled the gun out again, clicking the safety button off. " Don't you ever speak to me that way..."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her. " What are you gonna do about it? I don't care... shoot me. But then you won't be able to fuck me anymore..." I smirked wickedly at her. I was tired of playing her mind games...  
  
" Fuck you..." She sharply aimed the gun at me, pulling the trigger tightly. The bullet pierced fiercely through frigid air, gnawing through my right shoulder. My limp body collapsed to the ground, blooding pouring onto the ground.  
  
I glanced up at her with pleading eyes. She really shot me. But she didn't kill me, she wanted me to suffer... just like Vicious...  
  
" I told you I'd shoot you..." She smirked at me, as if she had defeated me.  
  
But she hadn't won yet. This was wasn't over....  
  
~  
  
How can you know what could've been  
  
On a cold lonely night  
  
~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Julia fans.... no flames pwease T_T  
  
Lol, sorry 'bout that. Did you like this chappie? I think it was okay. Julia was way OOC, I know, but she was supposed to be, so don't flame me telling me she was because I already know that she was. LOL XD  
  
Please review ^^ And thank you so much for your excellent reviews. I really appreciate it ^^ 


	9. Stupid Whore

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 9: Stupid Whore  
  
It had been a week since I had seen Spike, and I never thought it would hurt so much. I missed everything about him.... his cocky smile... his mismatched eyes. I missed it all, but most of all, I missed the time we spent together. We never acted as if we cared about each other, but there was that hint of secrecy gleaming in our eyes. There were those times we used to watch each other when we thought the other wasn't looking. I had only known him for a few weeks, but it felt as if I knew him my whole lifetime. His touch was absolutely intoxicating... I had never felt the way his warmth made me feel before... even with Vicious. I was marrying Vicious, yet I still longed for another man's kiss. But I didn't care. I didn't love Vicious. I wasn't going to say my vows to him, because he didn't love me. He was using me. Playing me as a pawn in his stupid games. I wasn't going to let him control me. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know how I had let it happen. And most of all....  
  
Who the hell is Julia?  
  
~*~  
  
My eyes slowly drooped wearily, my body gradually going limp. But I wasn't gonna fall asleep. I wanted to know where he was, and what he was doing. He never used to stay out late until the fight with Spike. It was like he was mocking me, making fun of my unavailing situation. He knew I wasn't gonna leave. He had threatened me, and I wasn't gonna let myself die that easily. But why didn't I just shoot the bastard myself?  
  
I don't know... You tell me. I'm dying to know....  
  
I sat up abruptly, my eyes adjusting to the darkened room. I wasn't gonna fall asleep... I had to stay awake. I wasn't gonna be decieved... My eyes scanned the dark room, searching for something at least half-way amusing. But to no such luck, there was nothing. Nothing but the ringing silence and the fading night-light flickering in the corner of the room. I sighed heavily, letting my body collapse upon the covers below me. I grinded my teeth aridly, my mind slowly slipping into a bored state. Why was letting my sleep be deprived by such a useless bastard? I could ignore his mockery, and worry about my own needs.... but NO...  
  
Just as I thought all hope was gone, I heard the front door clicking open, the keys rattling against the dead bolt. There was a soft giggle from... a woman?!  
  
My eyes widened, my whole body tensing up. That bastard brought another woman into MY apartment?! Well, technically, it was OURS, but that's besides the point.  
  
I narrowed my eyes, focusing all my senses on their voices, listening intently. He wasn't going to decieve me...  
  
" Listen Julia, you can't come in here..." His voice was barely audible, but I heard it... Julia... so that's who that slut is...  
  
" Why not baby? She'll never know if we're quiet..." She giggled again... boy was that getting annoying...  
  
" I only wish I could have you now..."  
  
" Fine... We'll save it for tommorrow... Meet me at the bar at midnight tommorow, okay?"  
  
" Okay... I love you Julia..."  
  
I froze. I LOVE YOU?!  
  
" I love you too Vicious, I'll be waiting..."  
  
I heard the door shut quietly, his footsteps nearing the bedroom. I shut my eyes, letting my body become limp. I was so tempted to catch him in the act... but it was too late. So I did the only thing I could think of at the moment, pretend to be sleeping. He opened the bedroom door quietly, softly stepping inside. I tried hard to force away the tension in my body, but I couldn't stop it. I was too angry.... He hovered over me, his silver hair tickling my face. I could smell the alcohol, it was blatantly obvious. I could feel him watching me, and the tension was building, my whole body becoming stiff. I couldn't trust him anymore. He was decieving me...  
  
He slipped a cold arm around my waist, in attempt to wake me. Obviously, it got my attention, because my eyes slid open and I gazed back at him. Hopefully he didn't know I was faking it...  
  
" Hi..." He moved closer towards me, kissing my cheek. My whole body shuddered...  
  
" V-Vicious?" I played along... I don't think he caught me anyways...  
  
" Sssh.." He hushed me, crawling up beside me and pulling me closer. I wanted to push away...  
  
" W-what time is it?" I rubbed my eyes, still putting up my act.  
  
" It doesn't matter..." He traced his hand up my arm and across my chest, moving closer and closer...  
  
" Huh?"  
  
" Don't speak..." He vigourously forced his lips upon mine, but I didn't pull away. I should've... but I didn't. Besides, I had a different idea of revenge at the moment.  
  
I pulled away, glancing up into his eyes. " What are you doing?"  
  
He smirked coyly, nibbling on my ear. " I want you..."  
  
I rolled my eyes. Thankfully he didn't see me... " Now?"  
  
He pulled away, sending me an icy vibe. " Yes, now. Now be quiet."  
  
I shivered. I might as well let him have his way then, because soon, he'd be at my feet begging for forgiveness. Nobody plays me... I was going to get my revenge...  
  
~*~  
  
The wind was cold and dark, and the moon hung eerily in the night sky. I shivered lightly as the frigid air pressed against my cheeks. I took one cautious step forward, never keeping my eyes off the small building. This was the place. She was sitting in there, impatiently waiting for MY fiance. I wasn't gonna let it happen anymore. I was gonna stop these deceptions, once and for all...  
  
I clenched my fists nervously, glancing down at my watch once again. Eleven forty-five... Vicious would be coming soon... I narrowed my eyes at the shabby bar, determination surging through my veins. I stepped forward, quickening my pace with each step. She wasn't going to win...  
  
I pushed my way through the door, letting my eyes scan the whole room. It didn't really help that I didn't have the faintest idea of what she looked like, but I was going to find her. I could feel it... I slowly made my inside, making sure to study every corner of the room. She was there... I could feel it...  
  
" Can I help you miss?" The bartender motioned towards me, winking slighty. Disgusting pigs...  
  
" No, not really," I ignored him, pressing fowards.  
  
The bar was slowly getting crowded, and my hopes were slowly disentegrating. But I knew it was the right bar, because it was the only one around that Vicious actually liked. He never really thought much of the smaller ones... to trifling for him...  
  
Just when I had given up, she caught my eye. Her long blonde hair gracefully streamed down her back, shimmering in the dim light. Her cold blue eyes turned towards me, narrowing slighty. It was her. I could feel it....  
  
I stepped towards her cautiously, sending her a cold look. A slight twinge of jealousy overcame me as I gazed upon her. It was DEFINITELY her. She was the type Vicious would go for... I proficiently slid down on the bar stool next to her, never keeping my eyes off her. It was her...  
  
" Julia..." My voice was breathless and barely audible, but she heard it, turning towards me slowly.  
  
" Faye..." She raised a brow at me, as if I was nothing but a worthless piece of shit to her. I gritted my teeth back at her...  
  
I turned away from her, forcing away any thoughts of shooting her dead right then and there. " So Vicious has told you about me..." I paused, motioning to the bartender for a drink. " Wish he would of told me a little more about you..."  
  
She smirked, chuckling slightly. " You're so naive..." She took a sip of her martini, never wiping that stupid smirk off her face. I was so on the verge of saving her some time and doing it myself...  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her, clenching my fists. Naive? She didn't know shit about me... " I should kill you right now, you know?" I took my martini from the bartender, lowering my voice slightly.  
  
She chuckled again. " Yeah? What's stopping you?" She smirked at me, downing the rest of her drink, never keeping her eyes off of me.  
  
She definitely had attitude, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. No one beats me in that department...  
  
I turned towards my drink, changing the subject. " Spike's a great guy, isn't he?" Boy, was I being sarcastic, but I didn't care, I wanted to piss her off...  
  
She shot me a hateful glare, clenching her martini glass tightly. " You would know... you fucked him over and over, am I right?" She smirked coyly. She really thought she was winning the battle...  
  
" Oh, I'm sorry, but I think you've got that wrong, honey. YOU were the one who fucked him, and YOU were the one who used him..." I smirked back at her, swirling the contents in my martini glass back and forth.  
  
She gasped, gritting her teeth tightly. I was right, and she knew it... She turned away from me, remaining silent as she sipped her martini, obviously perplexing her puny little mind just to think of a good comeback. No one beats me...  
  
" So Julia, how long are you gonna keep this up? You've got to tell Spike sometime. Or are you going to be like Vicious? Either way, Spike will find out. I did..."  
  
She abruptly turned towards me, smirking widely. " Oh, Spike already knows. I informed him not to long ago..."  
  
My eyes widened, and I gripped my glass tightly, practically shattering the damn thing. " WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU WHORE?!"  
  
She chuckled, noticing the angry state I had abruptly slipped into. " Oh, don't worry, Spike takes physical pain pretty well... But I'm not so sure about the emotional pain..."  
  
I grasped her by the collar of her trench coat, shoving her against the bar. " What did you do to him?!" My voice was dangerous and shaky, my whole body trembling with rage. She was going to answer my questions...  
  
Despite that position I was tightly forcing her body in, she still had that disgusting smirk on her face, and it only seemed to widen as my grip tightened. " Don't worry Faye... it's only a bullet hole in his shoulder, you still have time to fuck him if you want..."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her. " You're disgusting... he really loved you I hope you know..."  
  
" No... he didn't. Besides, what the hell are you saying?! You know nothing about our relationship!!"  
  
I loosened my grip, never keeping my eyes of her. " I know enough..."  
  
She laughed, flipping her hair back like some kind of bimbo. " Oh, and what's 'enough' Faye?"  
  
My anger seethed. I was really getting tired of her shit... so I shot for the only thing that I could think of that would really piss her off... " Vicious doesn't love you..."  
  
She glared back at me, gritting her teeth. " Fuck you..."  
  
" He loves me and you know it..." I flashed her a glimpse of the two carat diamond ring plastered on my ring finger. I knew he didn't love me... but it was the only sensitive spot that selfless bitch had...  
  
She grabbed my neck, pulling out her gun and brutally forcing it to my head. " Fuck... you..."  
  
" No thanks, that's your job, remember? You're the hooker who stands on the corner, right?" My words were piercing through her, and I could tell. It was obvious... I had found her sensitive spot...  
  
She forced the gun farther into my head. " He doesn't love you... Why else would he stay with me?"  
  
I stared at her blankly, as if her words were boring and useless. " Sex. That is your job anyways..." I yawned for an extra effect...  
  
She gripped my neck tighter, her whole body trembling with rage. I was definitely hitting her sensitive spot... and I loved it...  
  
" What's the matter Miss Julia? Aren't you gonna shoot me? Oh, that's right, you're too perfect to do something like that..." I smirked coyly at her. I was definitely teetering on the line between risky and brutally dangerous, but I didn't care. I was never the type to worry about danger...  
  
" Don't push me Faye... I will shoot you. Have you already forgotten what I did to Spike?"  
  
" You know, you sure do talk alot about someone you don't even care about..."  
  
" Shut-up! I don't love Spike! I love Vicious and he loves me! I just have to get rid of the loose ends!" She pressed the gun farther into my head, clicking off the safety button.  
  
" If you don't love Spike, then why didn't you kill him?" I narrowed my eyes at her fiercely. I was tired of playing her games....  
  
Obviously, I went to far... Before I knew it, I was flying into a nearby table, sending numerous glasses and tables flying across the room. I winced at the pain, struggling to my feet. She fiercely dashed towards me, firing her gun aimlessly. I tried hard to dodge the bullets, but it was too late, I could already feel the pain piercing through my left leg as the bullet penetrated through me, leaving my body flailing towards the ground. She smirked evily at me, ruthlessly pushing away the wreckage as she made her way towards me, never taking her cold eyes off of me.  
  
She raised her gun to my head, smirking as if she had won the fight. " So Faye, what are your thoughts on me now?"  
  
I slapped the gun away, struggling to get on my feet. " Get away from me you selfless bitch...."  
  
She glared at me, forcing her gun towards me again. " Are you brainless? I'm the one with the gun held to your head here!"  
  
I slowly forced my body into a kneeling position, plastering a smug smirk on my face." Oh, and you think that gives you authority or somethin'?!" I swiftly pulled the small knife out of my boot, blazing it into her right thigh, twisting it back and forth, intensifying her pain. She cried out like a little baby, falling to the ground and pulling out the knife. I could only sit and watch her make a fool of herself... it was only a knife anyways....  
  
" You're so naive..." I watched her bawling like a little baby, clutching her wound tightly as if it would magically heal itself. I scoffed lightly, rolling my eyes. I had my own pain to worry about...  
  
Meanwhile, the whole bar is sitting there, staring at us bewildered. I smirked coyly at them, sending a few young woman running away crying. Shit. Now I'm gonna have a big bounty on my head from this stupid bitch. I could already hear the police sirens screaming at me... It wasn't my fault anyways...  
  
" You bitch..." his voice startled me slightly, and I jolted my head back, my eyes widening. Oh, yeah, he was going to meet her... I forgot about that part...  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. " I'm the bitch?" I motioned to the blood pouring vulgarly out of my wounds, glancing back at him with cold eyes.  
  
He stepped towards me, his silver hair covering the suicide look on his face. He clenched his fists tightly, his whole body trembling with rage. " I told you NOT to interfere..." He swiftly grabbed Julia's gun off the floor, raising it towards me.  
  
" NOT TO INTERFERE?!?! Do you have any idea what you're saying?! I'M the one you're cheating on here! I think I have the right to interfere!!" I tried hard to force my body into a standing position, but I was inevitably failing miserably.  
  
" You really don't think I would kill you?" His stepped closer to me, pressing the gun to my head forcefully, the cool metal sending chills down my spine.  
  
" Try me..." I narrowed my eyes at him, my voice staggering slightly.  
  
" I hate you..."  
  
I raised a brow at him, smirking slightly. " Yeah? That's not what you said last night..."  
  
He growled lowly, his hands trembling with bitterness. He was going to kill me, but at that point... I didn't care...  
  
I heard a gunshot, and my whole world went black momentarily, my heart dropping. I thought for sure I was dead, but when I opened my eyes, Vicious's eyes were fixed on something behind me, his whole face pale from shock. He lowered the gun, his mouth falling agape slightly. I didn't want to turn around, because whatever it was, it scared the shit out of Vicious, and nothing scares the shit out of Vicious...  
  
I let my head turn to the side slightly, and my eyes widened with shock at the sight of her.  
  
Julia...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Major, major, major cliffhanger, lol ^^ I love to torture you!  
  
I hope you liked it! And please, please review! Thanx a bunch! 


	10. Sin

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 10: Sin  
  
It was all a dream to me. None of it seemed real. It was like everything was in slow motion, her cold blue eyes never leaving me. Maybe she wasn't so bad after. Maybe she wasn't just a conniving bitch out to steal everyone else's lovers. But then again, if she wasn't such a bitch, why did she try to kill me? I would never know anyways, it was too late for that. She was gone, and there was no turning back. The enivitable had already triumphed. But.... even so, don't you think everyone deserves a second chance?  
  
I don't.....  
  
~*~  
  
It was him. I knew it was. That mystery. That immateriality.... It was him. And if not... Who else? No one had ever loved me enough to save my life. And it sure as hell wasn't Vicious, he was the one pointing the gun at my head, remember? Now I'm not saying that Spike had a love for me, but.... who else knew me enough to shoot her.... kill her. If he hadn't of killed her... I would've been the one dead. She was behind me the whole time, and it never crossed my mind. I thought she was still there crying like a baby from that stupid little cut I gave her. But she wasn't... she was slowly making her way towards me, knife in hand. I think I'd rather die from a gun shot to the head than an excrutiating death from a knife in my heart. I'm glad it was neither.... thanks to him.  
  
But if he really was the one who saved me... why didn't he reveal himself? He was concealed the whole time... hiding in the shadows or something.... I don't know. Maybe he was killing her because he was getting his revenge. Maybe he wasn't really saving me... he was saving himself from the painful lie she suffocated him in...  
  
But then again.... it's all about how you look at things, right?  
  
After her death, everything between us was akward. He acted like a servant to me. Hanging on my every word and request. I swear he said I'm sorry about a million times a day. Sorry for cheating on me? Sorry for practically shooting me in the head? Oh, is that right? Well, let's just say I didn't exactly forgive him. I still took advantage of the attention though. Every girl wants attention... I'd lay in bed all day, watching T.V with my feet propped. He'd bring me chocolates and roses every morning, laying them on the pillow beside me. I'd wake up like a princess, with my bubble bath ready, and my breakfast waiting for me. Yep, everything was going wonderfully...  
  
Or not...  
  
I missed him, and there was no denying it. I missed Spike Spiegal with all my heart. Everytime Vicious gave me attention, my heart wrenched that much more. I didn't want Vicious. I didn't want chocolates, or roses, or even bubble baths. I wanted Spike. I wanted to feel his love, no matter how hard I had to work for it. No matter how much I had to give up. He was amazing. There was something about him that drew me to him. Every night I lay in bed thinking about him and his cocky smile and arrogant remarks. Those things were only masks that concealed the real Spike. The caring Spike. Why didn't I beg for him when I had the chance? At least then I'd have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried.... the satisfaction of feeling that I had a chance, even if he did reject me. Then I'd know that Vicious was all I had left. I wouldn't have to haunt myself with images of him just to pass the day in denial. But it was already done... there was no turning back... he was gone... forever, probably. And it was all my fault....  
  
I wasn't enjoying the pampering he was giving me... at all. I was actually getting sick of feeling so utterly useless. But I continued to let him appease me. It was the least he could do for all his deceptions. I'm suprised I even stayed with him, actually. The old me would've told the bastard to go screw himself, beating the crap out of him at the same time. But that was the old me. The strong Faye. The determined Faye... Now... I was weak... useless... imperceptible, and there was nothing I could do about it. Well, there was something I could do about it, but it would be a waste of my time anyways...  
  
I sat motionless, staring blankly at the steady rainfall, gracefully battering the window. I could feel him watching me. But I didn't care. I knew what he wanted, and I wasn't going to give it to him. I wasn't in the mood. In fact, I hadn't been in the mood since he left that day. Everything was just so plain and bare, like there was meaning of life. Yes, Spike was STILL haunting me. He was even interfering in my sex life. But that's okay, it's not like I need it that bad anyways...  
  
I continued to gaze intently out the window, letting the soft rainfall serenade my weary body to sleep. My body slowly became more and more limp, my eyes softly sliding shut.... I was barely asleep....  
  
" Faye..." I jumped back, my eyes prying open. Why was he bothering me then...  
  
I turned to him, giving him a cold look. " What?" My voice was a bit harsh... but I don't think it fazed him.  
  
" Do you love me?"  
  
I froze. My mind raced, the same question repeating itself over and over. I didn't love him.... I didn't love him at all... Before, if he asked me that question, I would smile sweetly, telling him I loved him over and over. But that was before... I couldn't say anything then... I wasn't going to lie, even though lying and cheating was practically my lifestyle. But not since he left...  
  
I gulped nervously, turning towards him and forcing the best smile I could. I wasn't going to lie...  
  
He shot me a cold look. " You don't... you really don't love me... It's all your fault..." he pushed me away slightly, practically sending my body onto the floor.  
  
I sat up quickly, looking him straight in the eyes. " What are you talking about? How can you say something like that? YOU were the one who caused all of this!" I beat my fists frivolously in to the soft comforter below me, my emerald eyes fuming with fury.  
  
He sat up as well, meeting me face to face. " Me?! I'm the one who caused Julia's death?"  
  
I gasped sharply. He was still stuck on that stupid bitch, even after her death. " I WASN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER!! Is that all you care about?! That stupid shrew who ruined both of our lives!!"  
  
He shot me a hateful look, clenching his fists tightly. " Don't call her that!!"  
  
" WHY?! That's what she is anyways!"  
  
" You don't even know her! Stop saying things like that!!" He furiously threw the comforter off his body, clenching his fists even tighter.  
  
I gasped again, my eyes widening slightly. " DON'T KNOW HER?! Fuck! I know her enough! Don't you remember?! SHE'S the one my so called fiance cheated on me with! Is it starting to ring a bell?! Maybe just a little!!" I abruptly threw my body off of the bed, searching the floor for my coat. I was leaving. I was tired of his shit. I just wanted to get away from the wench... I guess dying wasn't enough...  
  
He quickly followed, grasping my arm tightly. " WHERE are you going!!"  
  
I shot him an icy glare, rigidly pulling my arm out of his tight grasp. " It doesn't matter..."  
  
He paused, forcing a pleading look on his ominous face. I hope he knew it wasn't working one bit... " Is this your thank you for all I've done for you the past week?"  
  
My jaw dropped. I KNEW he was going to use that shit against me... " Vicious... don't you understand! Love is not chocolates or roses.... or even bubble baths! You don't love me! So STOP pretending you do! Your guilt trips do not work on me!" I turned away from him sharply, quickly grabbing my trench coat off the floor. I was leaving...  
  
He reached for me again, but I pushed him away, continuing to push my way out the door. I wasn't going to take that shit anymore. I was tired of it.... tired of pretending I was in love... tired of lying to myself... tired of that stupid whore Julia... I was leaving...  
  
He grasped me by the neck, forcefully pulling me towards him. " Listen bitch! What did I tell you!! You ARE going to love me and respect me!" He paused, chuckling slightly. The old Vicious was back... " I guess I'm just not good enough for perfect Faye Valentine, huh?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him, clenching my fists tightly. I wasn't going to let him push me around anymore...  
  
He chuckled again, that familiar sinister look creeping up on his rigid face. " Tell me, love... who is good enough for you..."  
  
I turned away form him, clenching my fists to the point of pain. " Not you..." I wasn't going to look at him anymore. His icy blue eyes were so hateful and dark, boring into me deeply. Why hadn't I seen this Vicious before?  
  
" Oh... but Spike is..."  
  
I gasped lightly, turning towards him, my eyes widening in shock. He chuckled, tightening his grasp around my neck. " Yes, you heard me... Spike Spiegal... What do you think this is some kind of fantasy? He will never love you... He's too stuck on my Julia... even if she is dead..."  
  
I abruptly pulled the gun out of my trench coat, forcing it to his head. " Let go of me... NOW..." He loosened his grasp on me, his icy blue orbs never leaving me. I was leaving... and HE wasn't going to stop me...  
  
" Give it up Faye... you wouldn't shoot me..."  
  
I chuckled. " You really think so?" I forced the gun farther into his head, clicking off the safety button. " You were going to shoot me... tell me... what changed your mind Vicious?"  
  
He turned towards me, narrowing his eyes slightly. I could feel my body trembling under his dark gaze... " SHE changed my mind... I really WAS going to kill you... but when she died, there was nothing else to live for..."  
  
I could feel my breath increasing with fury. He was really, really pissing me off... " Oh, so that's what I am? The second helpings after that stupid bitch?! You're really low Vicious... We WERE going to get married... but why marry someone who only thinks of you as the other girl..." I slid the ring off my finger, tossing it at him. You could call it my good-bye to him....  
  
He paused, staring down at the glistening ring nestling on the frigid floor. " You act as if I'm the only one at fault here... What about your deceptions? What, do you think your lies can just be forgotten?" He glanced at me, sending chills down my spine.  
  
I began to tremble, my voice quivering more and more with each word. " I-I... I don't know what you're talking about..."  
  
" Don't even try to lie to me. I caught you red-handed... and I forgave you... so why can't you forgive me?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. He was really testing me, and I was beginning to think I really was going to pull the trigger. Maybe if I killed him.... this whole nightmare would end... maybe I could forget it all once and for all...  
  
I trembled more, my whole body quivering. " I-I didn't do anything with Spike... okay?"  
  
He chuckled. " Oh, so you do admit to it? That's what I thought...."  
  
I gritted my teeth tightly, the anger rising deep inside of me. I didn't do anything with Spike... what the hell is he talking about anyways?  
  
I pressed the gun farther into his head warningly, swallowing nervously. " You really think I wouldn't shoot you?"  
  
" Why change the subject Faye? Tell me... what's he like... and you know what I mean..." He chuckled again. He really, really thought I wasn't going to shoot him... Well, he'd better think again...  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him, pulling the trigger tighter and tighter. " I wouldn't know... why don't you ask Julia?"  
  
He paused, gritting his teeth tightly. I definitely hit his sore spot... " Come on Faye," He paused, pondering the subject. " Was he all you ever dreamed of?"  
  
I had had enough of his shit... once and for all. I furiously shoved him to the ground, firing aimlessly. I wasn't really sure exactly what I was firing at, but at the moment, I didn't really care. I just had to get it all out... all the pain... all the regret... all the denial... I wanted it all to disappear. And if that meant killing my so called fiance... then so be it...  
  
I opened my eyes, partly shocked at my actions, and partly hoping I hit the main target. I gazed upon him. He wasn't dead... at all. But I had hit him. Blood was pouring out everywhere, but he never kept his eyes off of me. He gazed at me, half shocked and half furious. I had really shot him...  
  
He pulled his bloodied body into a kneeling position, letting his head rest against the palm of his hand. I could hear his breath quickening, and my whole body trembled. He was getting really, really angry... I could feel it... I shuffled my body cautiously, tightening the grip on my gun. I quickly counted the bullets left in my gun....  
  
Only one left...  
  
One chance... one terminal... one glimpse of hope... It was all I had left in this hateful world. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to end the nightmare... but memories of our love kept flooding my mind in guilt. I could see us holding hands, whispering sweet nothings in each others ear. I could see him proposing to me, sealing my lips with a kiss of loyalty. It was all so fresh like it all had happened yesterday... But yesterday was gone, and it was never coming back. Those things were merely memories. Nothing more. Nothing less. He was my love once before... but not anymore... never again...  
  
He growled viciously, clenching his fists tightly. He was slowly making his way towards me, but I couldn't move... couldn't speak... couldn't breathe... I tried to think. I tried to react, but my body remained plastered in the same position, staring blanky as he made his way closer and closer, blood staining his surroundings. I managed to raise my gun towards him, but my hands feel loose around the trigger. I shuffled my fingers in attempt to magically make them work again, but inevitably, it was failing miserably. I shut my eyes tightly, hoping out of some miracle that everything would turn out okay. That Vicious would be gone, replaced by a remarkably handsome Spike covenanting his love to me.  
  
I slowly opened my eyes, and my whole heart dropped. This wasn't a nightmare. It was REAL, and there was no stopping it. I gazed upon him, the dark look in his eyes penetrating through me like acid rain. I had to do something. I couldn't let myself be controlled. My life was my life, and no one else had the power to change that. However, anyone can have the power to veer your courage to dismay... and I had let him take that part away from me. He had decieved me... he had lied to me. That was not love... why hadn't I seen that? I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. But I did not hold them back. I let them flow freely down my pale cheeks. They seemed to wash all my dismay away. They were tears of denial... freedom... determination. It was time... time to let it all go...  
  
I shut my eyes tightly, concealing them from him. I pulled the trigger tighter and tighter, the bullet piercing the air rigidly. My mind raced as my surroundings froze, focusing only on the sound of the bullet and the cries of the love I once knew. His body fell limp, falling towards the frigid floor with a silent thud. I trembled fiercly, letting the gun drop to the floor guiltily. My eyes remained shut, but I knew he was dead... It was over.... I had really done it... I fell to my knees, silently begging for forgiveness. Why had I killed him? There had to be some other way... right? I let the tears fall, cleansing my whole mind of my sins. My heart knew why I killed him... but my mind thought otherwards. He had to die...  
  
At least he could finally join his precious Julia.... hopefully in hell...  
  
I slowly dragged my body into a standing position, replacing my sorrow with anger and frustration. I was tired of life... I was tired of it all... Death seemed like the only real solution for everything... There was no such thing as hapiness to me... just sorrow hiding itself in its everyday mask. Hapiness was a deception...  
  
There was no such thing...  
  
Life is a stupid test. And in the end, no matter how much you muse, you always fail. No one had ever passed the test of life, and I don't think anyone ever will. It isn't meant to pass. For if it is, it will only cause termoil and destruction. But just because you know you'll always end up failing, that doesn't mean you can't learn from your mistakes. And maybe next time, you just might pass.... maybe...  
  
I sighed heavily, shutting my eyes tighter. I wasn't going to look at him. I wasn't going to admit to my sins. I turned away sharply, quickly stumbling out of the apartment and down the hallway, pushing my way through the heavy glass doors. I let my body fall limp in the steady rainfall, letting everything wash away...  
  
Everyting....  
  
I fell to my knees, engulfing my sinful body into the pool of pity below me. But it was not rain to me... It was tears of sorrow... tears of disappointment...  
  
I had really done it... and I WASN'T sorry....  
  
Good-bye Vicious...  
  
See you in hell...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
SO, SO sorry about how long it took me to get this damn chapter out. I've had 4 major reports in the past week, and I haven't stopped once ( except for tonight)! Stupid teachers.... stupid school...  
  
Anyways, how did you like it? It's not the end, either. I will have many more twists and turns up ahead...  
  
he, he, he... 


	11. The Best Deceptions

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
~ Another song-fic chapter for you. The song is Changes by Three Doors Down. Sad chappie... beware.~  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 11: The Best Deceptions  
  
Everything seemed unreal. It was like my whole life had become fallacious... broken... dissipated. I had killed him. My fiance was dead. But I did not love him, and he did not love me. Yet somehow my heart still seemed to shatter into nothing. It was like I had thrown everything away. My life. My dreams. My hope... it was all destroyed with one bullet... one death. I didn't love Vicious, but he was still part of my past. There was no such thing as forgetting the past, because it will always be there. And no matter how hard you try to force it away, it always comes running back to you, more dominant than before. We had loved each other once before, and there was no forgetting it, no matter how much I hated the bastard. I thought for sure killing him would make it all go away, but it seemed it only brought more pain into my life. I was alone...  
  
And no matter how hard I tried....  
  
Spike would never be mine....  
  
~*~  
  
I gazed up into the dark sky, letting the raindrops mix in with my tears. I wrapped my trench coat tightly around my trembling body in attempt to defeat the frigid aura around me. But it would never go away. It was there to mock me, uncover my sins to the world. I was lost, and there was no one to run to... no one to comfort me. It was like I was dead and alive all at the same time. I knew what I wanted... I knew what I needed. But it was too late for that. Spike was gone, and it was all my fault. Vicious was dead, and it was all my fault. Everything was my fault... even Julia's death. I began to wonder, how did all this happen? How had I let myself fall into such an entrancing hole, one that I'd never get out of? This was not my life... I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to be starting a new life with my fiance. But that fateful day that I met Spike...  
  
Hell, maybe this is all a dream...  
  
That day I met Spike... that's when it all started. How can your life possibly be changed by one person? Only things like that happen in your dreams... your nightmares... But if it was all a dream, why does it hurt so much? Why can't I forget him?  
  
~  
  
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything  
  
But I don't know where I am  
  
Wish I could move  
  
But I'm exhuasted and nobody understands  
  
~  
  
I felt so guilty. Guilty for everything I've done... everything I ever would do. There was no reason for living, was there? I had lied... lied about everything. I told my heart that I loved Vicious... but I did not. I told the world that I had a family... a life... but I did not... I told myself that I did not love Spike... but I did... I needed redemption from my sins. I needed forgiveness...  
  
I slowly stood up, making my way down the dark lonely streets. I was leaving... forever. I could not hurt anyone anymore... I wasn't going to lie anymore... I had to leave... I let my feet carry me faster and faster into the lonely night. There was no other place to go... Maybe leaving this life... this world... maybe it will make everything okay. Maybe I will finally be happy in other life. Maybe I can forget Spike...  
  
No... It's not possible...  
  
No matter where I'd go, he would always be in my thoughts. He had changed me. But it seemed it was all for the worst...  
  
~  
  
I'm trying hard to breathe now  
  
But there's no air in my lungs  
  
There's no one to talk to  
  
And the pain inside is making me numb  
  
~  
  
The rain was falling heavier, and I quickened my pace, breaking into a frantic run. I wanted to get away from the rain... the tears... the erosion. I wanted it to end... I wanted it to die away. There was no flame inside of me anymore. I was numb on the outside, and screaming on the inside. But I'd never stop the rain... never...  
  
My new world came to my sights, and I froze, letting the tears fall. The graveyard... it was like my new best friend... my only friend... I slowly stepped towards the large iron gate, pushing it open. This was my new home.... for I had no home... I walked blankly through the dark pathway, listening to the rustle of the trees and the steady rainfall. I gazed upon each grave, memorizing every spirit who had left this agonzing world... for I would be joining them soon... A small heart-shaped grave caught my eye, and I leaned in, squinting my eyes to read the name on the grave...  
  
Julia...  
  
I feel to my knees, burying my face in my hands. I let the tears fall the the frigid ground, embedding themselves in her grave. This was my confession to my sins... I did not go to the funeral... I did not want to. I hadn't killled her, but I still felt as if I was at fault. If I wouldn't have went to the bar that night. She would be alive... he would be alive... and at least I could pretend that he loved me. But I could not pretend anymore... he was dead and I had killed him with my bare hands.  
  
~  
  
I try to hold this under control  
  
They can't help me  
  
'Cause no one knows  
  
~  
  
I was not sorry for what I had done, but sorry for what I had become. Vicious deserved to die. Julia deserved to die... but just not like that. Everyone dies... everyone lives... it just wasn't their time. But I had sealed their fate anyways... I do not kill... why had I taken his life? Why couldn't I just move on? What the fuck is my problem? This is not me... this is not the real Faye Valentine... she doesn't let anything control her... she does not let herself die away...  
  
But...  
  
I was not Faye Valentine anymore. I was a useless body taking up space in this world... a useless body that needs to be defeated... a useless body that I would rid of...  
  
~  
  
Now I'm going through changes, changes  
  
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
  
When I get suffocated, save me  
  
Now I'm going through changes, changes  
  
~  
  
I reached in my trench coat and pulled out my gun. I gazed at it, memorizing every feature that would let me leave this life. But then I remembered, I had used my last bullet on... him... Frustrated, I searched my pockets for any loose bullets. I was going to die, and nothing was going to stop me. After numerous attempts of searching, I finally found a fresh bullet. I slowly pulled it out my pocket, reciting my last sins to the world. I opened the gun and slipped the bullet in, clicking the safety button off. I took one long breath, and slowly raised the gun to my head, shutting my eyes tightly.  
  
This was it... I would be leaving, and tomorrow I wouldn't be there when the world awoke. But no one would notice. Everyone would carry on with their happy lives, forgetting all the pain and suffering the rest of the world feels. The world is so selfish... No one cares about anything but themselves and their interests. They don't care until it happens to them, then suddendly they beg for forgiveness, as if they were the only ones in the world who had felt this pain. Everyone is weak... everyone is defeated... nobody is strong enough for this life....  
  
~  
  
I'm feeling weak and weary  
  
Walking through this world alone  
  
Everything you say, every word of it  
  
Cuts me to the bone  
  
~  
  
What am I saying? I am that person... I am the one who only cares until it happens to them. I was happy with Vicious, and I didn't give a shit about all the pain the rest of the world was suffering through. I didn't care, until it happened to me. But I wasn't begging for fogiveness like them. I was facing the pain, not running from it. I was going to kill the pain... I was going to end the madness...  
  
I pressed the gun farther into my head, tembling more and more. That stupid voice inside of me was screaming at me, telling me to stop. But what the hell does it know? It's not the one who feels the pain... it doesn't understand how I feel...  
  
~  
  
I've got something to say  
  
But now I've got no where to turn  
  
It feels like I've been buried  
  
Underneath the weight of the world  
  
~  
  
I wanted to pull the trigger. I was going to pull the trigger... but images of Spike kept flooding my thoughts. He was always interfering, even in my decisions. He was nothing to me. Nothing but a love I'd never have. I had only known him for a mere two weeks or so, why was he such a big impact on my life? He was nothing.... nothing at all...  
  
No...  
  
He was something... He was the one who had veered me differently. He was the one who had changed my mind. He was the one who I had fallen in love with.... and there was no denying it... But... I was never going to hold him as mine... I was never going to alter the inevitable... It was my time to leave this life...  
  
~  
  
I try to hold this under control  
  
They can't help me  
  
'Cause no one knows  
  
~  
  
Trembling, I pressed the gun farther into my head, readying the trigger. I shuffled my fingers back and forth, sweat dripping from my forehead. I was nervous... but I just didn't know what was going to happen to me... where I was going... if it was right or wrong... But I didn't care. I was going to die. I wasn't going to let myself suffer anymore...  
  
I heard another gun click, and I swore I was hallucinating, so I ignored it. I took another heavy breath, swallowing nervously. I felt a gun barrel pressed against the back of my head, the cool metal colliding to my fiery skin. I shifted my eyes over at my gun.... nope... wasn't me... Then who....  
  
I turned my head just enough to see the invader, my body trembling even more with fear. My eyes slowly traced over, glazed with doubt. I shut my eyes tightly, afraid of who I might see standing before me, but I slowly opened them afterwards, my vision a bit blurry with tears at first. But as I gazed upon the infiltrater, I froze, my eyes widening with disbelief.  
  
It was her...  
  
But she was dead...  
  
~  
  
Now I'm going through changes, changes  
  
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
  
When I get suffocated, save me  
  
Now I'm going through changes, changes  
  
~  
  
She smirked that evil smile, her cold blue eyes flashing with deceit. She was dead...  
  
" J-Julia..." My voice quivered, my words swallowed in the cold, lonely darkness.  
  
She pressed the gun farther into my head. " Did you really think I was dead Faye?" She chuckled, shaking her head. " You really thought he would kill me?"  
  
" What?" I shuffled my fingers back and forth, toying with the trigger. Why did she have to interfere now? Dead or alive...  
  
She chuckled again. " Spike would not kill me... are you kidding yourself?"  
  
I gasped sharply, practically falling to the ground in shock. He really did shoot her... It really was him... But he didn't kill her, there was no point in shooting her. Besides, I was gonna to kill myself anyways...  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her, gritting my teeth tightly. " Get away from me you bitch... I need my time alone..."  
  
She shook her head lightly, narrowing her eyes at me. " If you were really going to kill yourself..." She paused, clicking off the safety on her gun. " You would've done it already..."  
  
~  
  
I'm running, shaking  
  
Bound and breaking  
  
I hope I make it through all theses changes  
  
~  
  
I growled, shaking with fury. How dare she challenge me! She did not know me... She did not understand my pain... She did not know Vicious was dead...  
  
I froze. She did not know... If she did know he was dead, she would've shot me by now...  
  
I swallowed nervously, never keeping my icy gaze off of her. " You know... he's dead... there really is no point in killing me..." I smirked at the defeated look on her face. " That is why you're killing me? Right? I was an obstacle in the way of your love..."  
  
" Fuck you..." She was trembling... trembling with pain... fury... hell if I really care.  
  
I smirked at her again, chuckling slighty. " I'm an obstacle. I've taken away both of your lovers... and you're jealous..." I held my gun taught to my head.... I still hadn't changed my mind...  
  
She gasped sharply, gritting her teeth tightly. " FUCK YOU!!" She fired aimlessly into the dark night, the bullets piercing through the silence.  
  
I shut my eyes tightly, listening to her excrutiating screaming. What a piece of shit... She turned back towards me, her dark eyes glazed with rage. " You mother fucking bitch! You know nothing about me! You know nothing about Vicious or Spike! You're just a stupid whore out for some free sex!!" She pressed the gun against the back of my head, forcing my head forwards slightly.  
  
I was seething with fury. How dare she say that! She's the one who's the whore... " What are you saying Julia?! I was the one who was marrying Vicious! Don't you remember!"  
  
" You weren't marrying Spike..." Her voice was quivering and barely audible, but I heard it. And I wished I didn't...  
  
She was right, and it made me that much more angry. I was the one cheating on Vicious. I was also the one deceiving... but in my eyes... They were the best deceptions...  
  
~  
  
Now I'm going through changes, changes  
  
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
  
When I get suffocated, save me  
  
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it  
  
~  
  
I wanted to die... but I wanted to kill her even more. She was the useless piece of shit... She was the useless body taking up space... I was going to rid of her...  
  
I lowered the gun to my chest, swallowing nervously. This was it... " Good-bye Spike..."  
  
I pulled the trigger tighter and tighter, the bullet piercing through my chest and grazing past through Julia. Blood splattered everywhere, staining my surrounding. I fell towards the frigid ground, never keeping my eyes off the starry night sky. It had stopped raining, the clouds had cleared up...  
  
I let my eyes trace over towards Julia, she was gazing at me with pleading eyes. I had completed my mission, I had shot her... and hopefully killed her...  
  
Her screams were penetrating the cold night, shattering the silence. But unlike her, I did not feel the pain, I took it all in, rinsing away all my sins.  
  
" I-I.... I'm sorry..." Her voice was hoarse and barely audible, but her eyes never left me. She reached over, grasping her gun tightly and raising it towards me.  
  
I did not care if she shot me. Hell, I was pretty much already dead. But instead of shooting me, she whispered another apology, pressing the gun to her head.  
  
The last thing I heard was a gun shot... and everything went black...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Wow. That chapter is quite the tear-jerker, and also an excrucitating cliff- hanger. Ha ha ha...  
  
No, just kidding. Did you like it? And NO! This is NOT the end of the story. I would never, never do that, but I never said Faye is alive, so don't get your hopes up...  
  
Lol, just kidding XD  
  
Please review! I want at least one hundred reviews by the end of this story ( which will probably never happen even in my wildest dreams, but hey, at least I'm trying... )  
  
Happy sailing! Or something like that.... 


	12. Wounds So Deep

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously.  
  
~Wowies ^^ Thank you for all the great reviews! I finally reached 100+ reviews thanks to you guys! I never in a million years would think that people would actually like this story, let alone read it! I especially want to thank Insomni-maniac and Qui-ti for their many reviews, which were actually totally aside from the story, but I still loved them! It's great to know people actually have humor anymore in this life, lol. And Insomni- maniac, I totally agree with you, hip-hop needs to rot away forever, with the exception of that great song... Lol XD~  
  
[A/N: Yes, yes... yet ANOTHER song-fic chapter, lol. But I just love adding song lyrics to the story. They depict the emotions and feelings so well. This song is Easier to Run, by Linkin Park (hell, yeah)]  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 12: Wounds so deep  
  
It was dark... cold... desolate... It was like I was in a never- ending nightmare. Images of Spike kept flooding my thoughts, his cool sultry voice echoing throughout my whole body. I knew I was alive. I could feel the pain... I could taste the tears... I could hear my cries... but it was like all of me wasn't there. Every once in a while, I could see a few beams of light piercing throughout the darkness, filling my heart with hope. But they would slowly dither away, and my heart would cry once again. But I didn't understand why I was mourning. I was the one who wanted to die. I was the one who had caused the pain. Why wasn't my heart perishing along with my useless my body? Why wasn't that flame inside of me burning out? Damn it! I needed to die! What could possibly be keeping me alive... No body cared about me... I was nothing...  
  
Nothing at all....  
  
~*~  
  
I could hear voices... deep voices... they echoed through the silence. I screamed... but they did not hear me... I cried but they did not see me... Where was I? Why wouldn't they answer me? I wanted to go back to the beginning... I didn't want this... I didn't want to be lost and never found... Why did I meet Spike? I continued to scream, reciting Spike's name over and over. But I wasn't calling for him, I was detesting him and all he had brought upon me. But despite the hate my mind was forcing on me, my heart would not agree. It still quivered and cried into the silence of the darkness, pleaing for his every tender touch. I wanted everything and nothing all at the same time, and it was tearing my whole soul apart. My screaming slowly dwindled into helpless cries, spieling my sorrow for all my sins. I was tired... my body was aching... and my heart was no longer living. It was nothing more than an artificial contender of my emotions. My tears were parched and autistic, nothing but remnants of my broken past. I finally silenced myself, shivering in the cold darkness.  
  
~  
  
Its easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
~  
  
Just when I thought all hope was gone, my mind was beginning to register the heat radiating around my body, diminishing the frigid aura around me. The bright light was beginning to press its way through, finally shining its beauty upon me. My heart filled with hope, my dark eyes finally regaining their original warmth. I slowly fluttered my eyes open to a blurred mess, nothing but the color orange filling my view. I squinted my eyes at the unfamiliar light, blinking a few times to regain my vision. Before me stood an orange haired boy, his bright amber eyes wide with enthusiasm.  
  
His smile widened, his bright eyes flashing with pure happiness. " SPIKE-PERSON!!! FAYE-FAYE IS WAKIE, WAKIE!!!" I covered my ears at his shrill voice. He sure didn't sound like a boy...  
  
He sat down on top of me, shaking my hand rigorously. " I'm Ed..." He reached down, grasping a small dog by the collar and pulling it towards me. " And this is Ein!!"  
  
I continued to stare in utter bewilderment. I had never seen such a strange boy in my life, and I was beginning to think he was a girl. And to top it off, I had just awoken from a long sleep in which I could've died any second. But I knew I was alive, the pain continued to scream at me, mocking my every move.  
  
~  
  
Something has been taken  
  
From deep inside of me  
  
A secret I've kept locked away  
  
No one can ever see  
  
~  
  
I was beginning to think that I had really died and gone to heaven.... but when I saw... him... I knew the truth. He gazed at me with those eyes, as if I was the guilty one. I admit it. I had killed... but I had also encountered death along the way. I gazed back at him, forcing away the pain burning in my chest. He continued to stand at the end of the hallway, his chocolate eyes never leaving me. His empowering gaze was overcoming me, and I knew I was defeated. But why... why had he saved me?  
  
He stepped towards me, finally breaking his gaze on me. " You're awake..." He made his way closer towards me, the orange-haired boy pressing his way through him and down the hallway, singing some off-key tune.  
  
I glanced down at my bandaged body, the smell of blood refreshing my memory. I was supposed to die... I was supposed to go down with her... so where is she now? I was crying on the inside, forcing that artificial mask upon my face. I could never accept the things I had done... I had killed. I had lied. I had fallen in love with the enemy... but there was no stopping these things now... there was no way to alter what had already been done.  
  
He stepped towards me, sitting down on the metal coffee table next to the couch. His eyes slowly traced up, gazing upon my quivering facade. Despite the force I was using to hide my pain, his eyes penetrated through me, reading my every emotion. He narrowed his eyes at me, his chocolate orbs flashing with anger.  
  
" What gives you the right...." His eyes darted towards the metal floor as if he was regaining his conscience. But he didn't have to say anymore, I knew what he was talking about...  
  
~  
  
Wounds so deep they never show  
  
They never go away  
  
Like moving pictures in my head  
  
For years and years they've played  
  
~  
  
" I didn't kill her..." My voice quivered, finally awakening from the long silence.  
  
He clenched his fists, his mismatched eyes meeting mine once again. " What?"  
  
I shook my head, swallowing nervously. " I said.... I didn't kill her..."  
  
His eyes seethed with rage. " Don't lie to me!"  
  
There were so many thing I could've said... so many things I wanted to say. But the pain was unbearable... inside and out... I couldn't speak... couldn't breathe... couldn't think...  
  
He inched towards me, his breath quickening with rage. " ANSWER ME!!" His voice echoed throughout the whole room, piercing through the pain. But I didn't flinch... I couldn't...  
  
I finally regained as much strength I could, letting my eyes rest upon him. " Spike... don't you understand? It was not her I was killing..." I motioned to my wounds, forcing away the tears. But I wasn't going to cry... I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself...  
  
He shot me a confused look. " What?"  
  
I took a deep breath, holding onto as much strength as I could. " I wouldn't of fired the gun if I knew I wasn't going down with her..." I was lying, but I didn't care... he would never listen to my side of the story anyways...  
  
" What do you mean?"  
  
His inconstant confusement was beginning to agitate me. How could he not understand what I was saying?! " God damn it Spike! She shot herself! Are you blind!" My voice rose dangerously, excrucitaing my pain. I coughed, hoping to magaically force away the painful surges throughout my injured body. I slouched down, shutting my eyes tightly.  
  
~  
  
If I could change, I would  
  
Take back the pain, I would  
  
Retrace every wrong move  
  
That I've made, I would  
  
~  
  
He remained silent watching me closely. I felt broken... used... decieved. No one would ever understand me... no one... I was like that forgotten beauty hidden in the soft cool breeze. No one would ever find me, but I would always be there... always.  
  
I gazed back at him intently, my eyes glazing over with tears. I wanted to scream at him... make him feel used... shatter him in every way possible. But my heart would not let me. It still held on tightly to that strange emotion welling deep inside of me.  
  
I took a deep breath, holding onto as much energy as I could. I wasn't done with him. There were so many things I wanted to know... so many things I needed to know. I glanced down at my bloodied hands, tears pouring down my lifeless cheeks. But I wasn't crying for the pain or the wounds... I was crying for all the sin and hell I had thrown about. I felt so damn guilty... but why? What the hell why my problem? It was not me... it was not Julia... hell... it wasn't even Spike who had caused all the shit I had been through. It was life... and all its lies... all its shit... all it's fucking deceptions! No... I was not angry at Spike... Julia... Vicious... all those fuckers... I was not mad at them! I was mad at my useless, conniving life, always kicking me when I'm down...  
  
But despite all of that... There was no running from life... no escaping its wrath... no defeating it. It would always control me... maybe someday I'll learn to merely laugh at life... someday...  
  
~  
  
Its easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
~  
  
I glanced back up at Spike, a determined look overcoming my helpless features. " But... why... why did you save me... why did you shoot her?"  
  
His chocolate eyes widened, struck with utter shock. " W-what... what do you mean?"  
  
I shut my eyes tightly, swallowing nervously. " I-I was going to die... s-she... was going to stab me... But you shot her... it was you,"  
  
He shut his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. " Nobody deserves to die..." His words were coarse and barely audible, salting the wounds even deeper. He was right... he was absolutely right... and it hurt me deeply to think so. I had killed. They had died... and it was all my fault... not my life's. There was no blaming life for that. They were MY actions... MINE... They were my sins...  
  
My emerald eyes dimmed, fresh tears blurring my vision. I bit my lip, holding back the sobs. " N-nobody... yes..."  
  
I tried, but I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I began sobbing uncontrollably, hunching my body over, pulling it into a tight ball. I buried my face into my knees, the pain shooting throughout my whole body, practically paralyzing my nerves. But I did not feel the pain on the outside... only on the inside...  
  
He lunged towards me, pulling me into a tight embrace. " Faye!"  
  
I pulled back, gazing back into his mismatched orbs. " I KILLED HIM DAMN IT!!" My voice was hoarse and raspy, and I wouldn't be suprised if he didn't understand a single word I said. But he did... his eyes told all...  
  
His features softened, pressing into a sympathetic frown. " Calm down..." He stroked my hair gently, soothing my pain just by his gentle touch.  
  
I gazed back into his amazing chocolate eyes, pulling him closer towards me. " Why... I didn't have to kill him... I didn't have to shoot her..." Warm tears stained my checks, collecting underneath my saddened eyes.  
  
He wiped my tears away, his touch burning deep inside of me. " It's okay..."  
  
I shot him a confused look. " But... Julia..."  
  
He pulled away from me, leaving my body frigid and lifeless. " You accomplished my doing for me..."  
  
~  
  
Sometimes I remember  
  
The darkness of my past  
  
Bringing back these memories  
  
I wish I didn't have  
  
~  
  
I gasped, my eyes widening in shock. " What?"  
  
He sighed, returning to his position on the metal coffee table. " I wanted to kill her... I was going to kill her..." He paused, popping his knuckles to soothe his uneasiness. " But, I just couldn't do it..."  
  
I gazed at him in utter bewilderment. He was going to kill his love... his angel... his Julia... It was too hard to believe... but maybe that's why he didn't really do it...  
  
" I-I was only angry with you because... because I just couldn't believe it all... it was so hard to bear even thinking about it," He paused, biting his lip nervously, " So I blamed it all on you."  
  
I gazed at him intently, a look of guilt drenching my crumbling facade. I felt terrible for all the times that I had hated him... all the times I wanted to blame the hurt on him. He was just the same as me... teetering between his feelings and his intuitions... searching for a forever answer for all the pain brought upon him.  
  
He inched towards me, entwining his fingers in mine. " Faye... I-"  
  
" SPIKE!!!!" I winced at the loud bellowing voice echoing throughout the whole damn room.  
  
A tall bald man entered the room, his eyes widening at me. " Oh! You're awake Miss Valentine!"  
  
I shot him a look of confusement, glancing back at Spike. He shrugged lightly, making his way towards the balding man. " What do you want Jet?"  
  
The man ignored him, smiling widely at me as he made his way closer towards me. " How are you feeling?" He sat down on the coffee table that Spike had preoccupied when I awoke.  
  
I continued to stare at him in confusement, addled by the fact that he knew so much about me. How long had I been asleep anyways? I glanced back down at my bandaged body, trying hard to consolidate all the facts. For some reason, I was having a very diffucult time thinking, let alone organizing the facts.  
  
I glanced back up at the man, cocking my head to the side. " Exactly... how long have I been asleep?"  
  
He gave me a strange look, glancing back at Spike momentarily. " You mean Spike didn't tell you what happened?"  
  
I stared back at him, as if all his words were foriegn, my mouth agape slightly. I glanced back at Spike, giving him a jumbled look. He rolled his eyes, making his way back towards the musty yellow couch I was consumed in at the moment. " She's only been awake for like two minutes, Jet."  
  
Jet rolled his eyes at the sarcasm in his voice, turning back towards me." Well... technically, you've been in a half-way coma for about a month."  
  
My eyes widened. " What?"  
  
~  
  
Sometimes I think of letting go  
  
And never looking back  
  
And never moving forward  
  
So there'd never be a past  
  
~  
  
" It's kinda hard to explain..." He paused, clearing his throat. " Your wounds... they were too extreme for regular surgery, so the doctors decided to use a new type of laser surgery. They had to put you in cryogeic sleep during the surgery."  
  
By then, my mouth was gaping open as wide as it could get. I could not believe what I was hearing. " Cryogenic sleep?!"  
  
He nodded. " After the surgery, they tried to successfully wake you, but your body was too weak. They decided to put you into a partial coma, one that you would wake from naturally when your body was rejuvinated."  
  
I glanced down at my bloodied bandages, still perplexed by the whole thing. " But... you said laser surgery... what about these bandages?"  
  
He chuckled lightly at my challenging intuition. " Those are just other wounds you had that weren't in need of surgery. The gunshot in the shoulder should only be a scar now."  
  
I paused, refreshing my memory. Shoulder? I was aiming for my chest...  
  
Noticing the perplexed look on my face, he cleared his throat, the warm smile on his face fading away. " Well... your lucky your aim was off anyway... it could of grazed your heart."  
  
I glanced back at Spike, sending him a helpless look. He gazed back at me, his chocolate eyes penetrating me with guilt. He knew... They all knew... I was trying to kill myself, and it seemed so shunned upon. In truth, it really was a terrible thing to even think about, but... they just didn't know... they just didn't understand... All the pain. All the tears. All of it. Nobody knows...  
  
~  
  
Just watching it aside  
  
All of the helplessness inside  
  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
  
Is so much simpler than change  
  
~  
  
I swallowed away the tears, shutting my eyes tightly. I felt like such a burden. Why had he gone through so much trouble just for me? For the one who had killed his love? He could of just let me perish along with everything else... but he didn't. He strived to keep me living... he strived to heal me...  
  
Now, tell me... what do you call something like that? It could not be lust, for you do not care for the person, only their body. But it could not be love... Spike did not love me... I was not loved...  
  
" Miss Valentine?" Jet's pondering voice penetrated the silence, my eyelids springing open. " Is there something wrong?"  
  
I shook my head slightly, continuing to stare blanky at the steel wall ahead of me. " N-not really... just tired..."  
  
He slowly stood up, making his way towards the hallway. " All right... if you need anything, just call. Spike, Ed, or me will gladly help." He waved slightly before making his way down the hallway until he was out of sight.  
  
I gazed back at Spike with pleading eyes, watching him make his way towards me. " Why'd you do it Faye?"  
  
My eyes darted towards the cold steel floor. " I-I don't know... I just couldn't take the pain..."  
  
He remained silent, gazing at me intently. But the silence was killing me, I just couldn't take it anymore. " Why did you do it?"  
  
He cocked his head to the side slighty, acting as if he didn't understand any word out of my mouth. But he knew... he knew exactly what I meant... " What?"  
  
" Why did you save me again? Why didn't you let me die along with her..."  
  
His eyes darted towards the floor as well, his body trembling with uneasiness. " I-uh... I don't know either..."  
  
I glanced back up at him, but he continued to gaze at the cold floor below him. The aura around us was so unbelievably awkward, and I could barely stand it. Why couldn't I just tell him? Tell him everything... all my love... all my pain... all of it. I just couldn't say anything...  
  
" I... I didn't go to the funeral..." His voice was broken, but full of so much emotion.  
  
My eyes widened." What?"  
  
He finally gazed back at me, his eyes glazed with tears. " I-I just couldn't... she didn't deserve a funeral..."  
  
~  
  
It's easier to run  
  
If I could change I would  
  
Take away all the pain I would  
  
Retrace every wrong move I would  
  
~  
  
I remained silent, a concerned look etched across my weary face. I couldn't say anything... there was nothing to say. I reached towards him, running my fingers down his cheek. His eyes met with mine, chilling me down to the bone. I shivered lightly, but bravely began to trace my fingers across his lips and along his jawline. He continued to gaze back at me, his eyes never leaving mine. He slowly reached up, grasping my hand and placing it against his cheek. My breath caught in my chest, my heart pounding more and more by the second. I suddendly realized... moments like that... they were my reason for living. Even if Spike would never love me, I still had those moments where his touch was enough to keep me living. And truly, I didn't need his love... just being aroung him was enough for me.  
  
I smiled lightly at him, but he still continued to gaze at me with those eyes. It was like some unknown emotion, something I'd never be able to read. I felt like he was reading my emotions... my thoughts... just with his amazing eyes.  
  
He finally broke his gaze on me, placing my hand in my lap and slowly standing up. " If you need anything... I'll be in my room down the hall..." And with that... he left the room... leaving me to my thoughts.  
  
But after he was gone...  
  
My whole world seemed to plunge into that familiar frigid aura...  
  
~  
  
I would take all the shame to the grave....  
  
~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How'd you like it? So sorry it took me so long to update = ( I've been so busy with school because report cards come out this week, and I wanted to maintain my 3.5 average that I strive so hard to acheive... and some how actually make, lol.  
  
Anyways... I like this chapter for some reason. Don't know... maybe it's the emotions... maybe it's the fact that I finally introduced Ed, Ein, and Jet into the story ( lol)...  
  
[ BTW: In this chapter, they are in the Bebop if any of you seem a little confused. The way the chapter flows, it seems like the are in a hospital, but they're not.]  
  
Well, I hope you liked it! Please Review ^^ 


	13. Bleeding It All Away

Disclaimer: Me. Owner of nothing besides this storyline and a shity-ass computer. Seriously. (lyrics by Kiley Dean... or her songwriter..whichever, I don't own them.)  
  
[A/N: OMG. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've been so so busy with school, and I just got over a horrible, horrible sickness. Well, I promise I'll make this chapter make up for it.... hopefullyXD...]  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Best Deceptions: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic  
  
By: Katie S.  
  
Rated: PG-13/ R ( sexual situations, language)  
  
Category: Romance/ Drama  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 13: Bleeding It All Away  
  
It's amazing how much your life can change in the matter of a couple weeks. It's like everything around is just the way you want it... or even more, but then, you find yourself awaking inside the eyes of a stranger. Where is this foreign place you've come to be? And most of all, how the hell did you get there? You find yourself fighting to trace back all the choices you've made, all the battles you've encountered. But the more and more you try to discover what has happened, you find yourself standing on the front line of your own Vietnam. All the blood shed... all the tears... all the wasted dreams... how had the showered themself upon you so abruptly?  
  
This is what I fought to uncover every morning I awoke since that fated day I met Spike. Because I was living in my own Vietnam... I was bleeding myself to death with all the suffering. But I was so sick and tired of questioning myself, because it was not my fault. None of it. All the deaths... every bit of the mother fucking nightmare that had burrowed its way into my life, it was not my fault. And even if it was, there was no use blaming myself, because I had to fight back, I was NOT going to let myself die away. There is no use in letting yourself bleed, because every pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.  
  
But what happens when there's no more sweat inside of you?  
  
Well, let's just say you can't preserve your blood anymore...  
  
And inside, I really believed that Spike was holding everything inside of me captive...  
  
~*~  
  
~  
  
Sometimes my world's not turning  
  
Wonder will my life  
  
Just fade away  
  
~  
  
It had been two weeks since I awoke from cryogenic sleep, and my wounds were healing up quite well... but I still felt the pain. I continued to cry myself to sleep every night, because inside, I knew that I would never heal. I spent more time in my kindly donated room on the Bebop, forcefully trying to scratch away the itch deep inside of me. I never slept. Sleeping to me was finally getting time to actually lay my useless body down and calm my twitching insomnia. But I never closed my eyes. I was deathly afraid of the nightmares that would haunt me in my sleep. I was litterally going insane, and it seemed the only thing that would calm me down was popping a few pills or at least being in the presence of the one man who had started the hell in the first place. And its so funny... the one person you hate... is the one person you love...  
  
Or at least it seemed that way to me.  
  
But I didn't really see much of Spike. It seemed he conviently always had bounties to go on, and he was litterly gone 20 hours out of the day. But those four hours he would actually come to the Bebop and crash on that musty yellow couch, I was the happiest ever, and he knew it. There was no hiding from those vigil eyes I constantly had perched upon him. But we never spoke. I couldn't... and I'm not so sure he could either. The most we ever said to each other was "pass the milk" at supper time. I never brought up the past, and neither did he. But each day that passed without avouching to that brutal past I held with him, the guilt and vehemence inside of me only intensified. Because there was no denying what had happened, and we both knew it. But it was like we held fear for some reason. But it was not the usual panicky fear, it was different... implicit... corrosive. I wanted so badly to tear that fear away, and face up to it all... finally admit to that burning love that was slowly eating away at my heart. But the question was... Can you really escape when your being held behind bars?  
  
~  
  
Situations grab my mind and  
  
I can't see myself escaping  
  
All the pain  
  
~  
  
But despite all of the hell I was still living in, I finally felt like I held my own family at the Bebop. Everyday when I awoke, and every night when I laid restless in my bed, Jet, Ed, Ein, and, yes, even Spike, were truly the only things keeping my alive. They were the one thing that I was holding onto in reality. Being with them almost made me forget the pain, because having a family is just one of those many things I had never encountered. It was one of those many things I had lied about my whole life, because I did not have a past. I truly had no idea who my real realitives were. But that was just one of the things I had put aside, in hope that one day I could strangely cross the path to my REAL life.  
  
And truly... the Bebop was my real life. And I was not to worry about that missing piece inside of me.  
  
Living at the Bebop, I gained many things. Jet was like a father to me, Ed was like a sister to me, and strangely, that stupid mutt felt like a brother to me. Everytime I cried, Ein was there to whimper away the tears. Everytime I felt down, Ed was there to temporarily turn that frown into a smile... and everytime I needed guidance, Jet was always there, trimming his bonsai plants with the best advice you could ever imagine.  
  
But right now, you're probably wondering... What about Spike?  
  
And really, what about Spike? You tell me. I'm still dying to know...  
  
~  
  
Should I  
  
Go far away?  
  
Should I  
  
Stay another day?  
  
~  
  
Even through all the benignity, I still fought the need to pack my suitcases and leave every single night. I felt welcomed and gratified by their mercy, but I also felt forbidden and exiled by all the sin engraved in my heart. But every night before I closed the front door behind me, I came to realize, that the one thing I needed... the one thing I wanted... was Spike's love. So I would shamefully turn back around, drag myself back through the Bebop door and towards that musty yellow couch, and gaze upon the sleeping form of the one drug that I was indeed addicted to. I would stand there motionless for countless amounts of time, tracing my thirsty eyes along every feature of that perfect nightmare. And just before I would turn to leave, I would bravely lean my flimsy body closer towards him, taking in every scent that lingered in his aura. After I had memorized that refreshingly manly scent of cigarette smoke, Curve cologne, and a special sweetness, I would audaciously lean my pale-stricken lips in and lighty brush them against his warm, damp lips. And during that one tonic moment of my life, I really did not give a shit if he awoke or not, because it was my addiction, and there was no turning back.  
  
But after I had dragged my lifeless self into my bedroom, and gazed back into the mirror to see the true person I had become, I would always feel the tears pressing their way past my glazed eyes. Who was this person staring back at me? It was not Faye Valentine... It was not that girl I used to know...  
  
And I'm sure many of you would agree...  
  
I had become the mannequin controlled by the life of another...  
  
~  
  
I need you now  
  
Take me  
  
A miracle's  
  
What I need  
  
~  
  
But one night, everything had finally eaten away all of my patience, and I realized- I was mother-fucking tired of waiting. I wanted to know... I needed to know, if my feelings were one-sided. My love for him had slowly grown into this dominating madness that I could no longer control with a pill or a drug, and I knew this. But I still continued to pop the pills in my mouth, dousing them with the nearest form a water I could find. After about eight pills and about a fifth of Vodka, my body had litterally become nothing but a trembling neurotic. It was the most I had ever taken at one time, and my body was definitely responding intolerably. But the constant drugging was changing my visions, and this odd assurance was growing and growing. I took one look in the mirror and forced the most insane smirk I had ever held upon my pale face. I shook my head to clear the blurriness veering my visions, but inevitably, that did nothing but increase it. After countless deep breaths, I shakily spun around, making my way out of my bedroom, my pace increasing with each step. The hallway seemed a bit longer than usual, and it seemed to spiral a bit to the left, but I still continued, fumbling more and more with each step. When I finally reached the sitting room, I barely begun to feel the tears streaming down my numb face.  
  
But when I gazed upon him....  
  
My whole body froze.  
  
There he was. Staring back at me with that familiar leery look plastered upon his face.  
  
And he spoke to me... truly spoke to me... for the first time in two weeks.  
  
~  
  
Cloudy days  
  
Bring salty rain back  
  
Doesn't mean a thing  
  
My life's in vain  
  
~  
  
" You're up late..."  
  
I continued to stare back at him, my eyes wide and glassy.  
  
He looked me up and down, realizing the state my body was in. And I swear, a look of fear overcame his face... but maybe it was just the drugs...  
  
He moved towards me, and my mind was racing, telling me to run, but my trembling body stayed frozen.  
  
" Faye... why?"  
  
I swallowed hard, forcing away the burning pain in my stomach. I wanted to speak... but I just couldn't...  
  
He stepped closer and closer, his body heat slowly radiating itself upon me, giving me that familiar high. I fumbled a bit, practically stumbling to the ground, finally realizing how difficult it was to continue standing. He grasped my arm tightly, pulling me towards him. My eyes widened, realizing our proximity.  
  
" Stop it!" My voice was shaky, yet still audible.  
  
I tried hard to struggle away from him, but his grip was too tight. My visions began to blur, and I felt myself slowly slipping away. He pressed me into a tight embrace, collapsing on the couch, gracelessly bringing my limp body along with him.  
  
~  
  
I'm not sure  
  
I know this feeling  
  
Some things just don't make sense  
  
They seem so strange  
  
~  
  
My panting slowly dwindled away as my visions cleared. My dim eyes widened as I stared back into his amazing mismatched eyes.  
  
" Spike..." My lips quivered, my body continuing to tremble.  
  
" Faye..." He wrapped his arms around my body, containing the warmth between us.  
  
He slowly leaned in, but I just couldn't, there were things I needed to know. " Why..." It was about all I could get out of my mouth at the moment, but the by the look on his face, it was enough...  
  
He swallowed nervously, letting his eyes linger past me." I... I don't know what you mean..."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. " W-what about... Julia?"  
  
His eyes widened, but he still continued to gaze past me. " W-what?"  
  
" W-what about them? Their dead Spike! Why can't you say anything?!" My voice arose for the first time that night, and the burning pain in my stomach only increased.  
  
" Why does it matter!" He forcefully shoved me into the couch, letting his body press against mine.  
  
I swallowed away the tears, taking a deep breath. " I-I just can't forget that night... It's too hard... I should've died Spike..."  
  
~  
  
I'm wondering why  
  
Inside tonight  
  
Can't find my way  
  
~  
  
He shook his head, letting his forehead rest against mine. " No... I could never let that happen... you're...you're..." He sighed, shutting his eyes tightly.  
  
Despite the drugs in my system, I was catching on, hearing everything... down to the last breath. " Why are you doing this?"  
  
" Doing what Faye? What AM I doing?" He tightened his grip on my arm, cringing his teeth tightly.  
  
" I'm so confused..."  
  
" So... am I... I just can't stop..." He leaned closer, pressing his cheek against mine.  
  
My heartbeat was increasing, my mind racing, and I realized... this is really what I wanted along... this is all I needed...  
  
Realizing how stiff my body had become, he slowly pushed away, gazing back into my eyes. " What..."  
  
~  
  
It's so bad  
  
Oh, I still cry  
  
Can't find my way  
  
~  
  
I shut my eyes tightly, sighing lightly. " Spike... don't you understand?"  
  
I look of confusion overcame hs face. " Huh?"  
  
Fresh tears pressed against my lashes, but I forcefully shoved them away. " You're... you are what keeps me living..."  
  
" What?"  
  
I shook my head in anger. Why wasn't he understanding? " I can't live with out you... I'm so addicted..." After numerous attempts to force away the tears, I finally gave in, letting them stream down my pale cheeks.  
  
" What are you saying?"  
  
" Damn it Spike! I'm in love with you! Why can't you understand that!?" I began strugging away from him, my breathing slowly dwindling into helpless panting.  
  
~  
  
At a crossroad  
  
Tell me which way to choose  
  
Can't figure it out  
  
Can't make a move  
  
~  
  
" Faye..."  
  
I pushed him away from me, searching for the best way to escape it all. I let my body collapse to the ground, and I frantically crawled as fast as I could away from him. He reached for me, but I was too ecstatic. I shakily stood, breaking into a run towards the bathroom. I could hear him calling me, but I still continued, slamming the bathroom door behind me, and hurling myself towards the toliet.  
  
There were a few more things I needed to get out of my system...  
  
~  
  
A miracle is what I need....  
  
~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yay! I'm finally finished! Sorry it took so long! I hope you like it! Well, I'm off the eat some turkey and stuffing. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!  
  
Happy Thanksgiving!! 


	14. Author's Note A question asked by all

To all The Best Deceptions readers and reviewers:  
  
Many of you have asked yourself this same question, so I thought I might bring some clarity to it all. Here is the question:  
  
'Are the characters supposed to seem so out of character?'  
  
And for my answer: Yes, in a very odd way, they are intended to be out of character. Now, truthfully, I really shouldn't be callling this a fanfiction, because there is no doubt about it that a fanfiction is made to take the characters and their personalities and use them in your own story line, and I was very aware of this when I wrote the story. Now what I am doing with their OOCness, is, in a very obscured way, adding drama and height to the story. Now this probably seems a bit strange to you, but in fact, when you match the character to their surroundings, the story turns out to be a bit more suspenseful, and the audience doesn't realize it. It's kind of like using a secret recipe of some type to your story, as absurd as that sounds. And no matter what type of personality that character has, when you put them in a position that is foreign to them, most every character will act in the same manner. For an example, we'll use Faye, because she seems to be the most out of character: When she finds herself falling more in love with Spike, and realizing how much she never did love Vicious, her personality seems to change greatly. Now let me explain this. Faye is a very independent person, and when she finally opens herself to someone, only to realize that she couldn't truly trust that one person (Vicious), she breaks down. Now you do not see ths much in the show, because Faye is never really put on the spot in this position, and you cannot see her emotions through her eyes. I am merely opening up another side of Faye's character. This is pretty confusing isn't it? I'm sorry...  
  
Here's another example: Vicious and Julia's death. Now let me ask you a question: When you believe you are in love with someone, only to find out that they are decieving you, what do you do? Usually, if you truly, truly believed that you held love with that person, you dump yourself with so many mixed emotions, for you want to love that person still, but you know that you must hate them. For example: Faye really believed she loved Vicious, and when she killed him, there was still that piece of Vicious inside of her hanging on. And the same idea with Spike. That's why you find them, Faye mostly, going insane after their deaths. It's like a hidden love that can't let go of, but already tried forcing away.  
  
You're probably not comprehending even a minute of my blabbering and I'm sorry if this still seems confusing -_-' Maybe if you just nod your head and smile it'll make me feel smart, lol. I know I can overexplain things to the point of confusement, but I just wanted to let you see every point of this.  
  
I hope this has helped you understand the story a bit more. If it hasn't. Oh well, lol. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed or even read this story. I'm much appreciative. If I could give you all your own personal Christmas present from me I would... but I'm much too broke. I'm hoping that this thanks is enough -_-'. The ending of the story is coming soon, but it hasn't come yet. I think I might have confused you all a bit last time. I should have been a bit more clear, and it is my fault. But that's a good thing! Now, you can still be excited because this story isn't over yet!  
  
Eh...-_-' Nevermind...  
  
Thanx for everything!  
  
~Author Katie Seals~  
  
&  
  
~Pen name Foxy Angel~ 


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